Santa Fe Billionaire

Chapter 56

Ava

I don't know what to think or what to say. I mean it is a lot to take in. The way he was treated by his ex, finding out five years later that you have a child. It is all overwhelming and my heart goes out to Sebastian. I can imagine how hard he fought for his child but all those wasted years. Not being there to hold her hand, change her diapers, hear her say her first word or take her first step. What does that do to a person? It would cripple me. It makes me realize just how much I really love Sebastian. It's deep and true. I know I am being honest to myself when I look into his eyes, they appear worried. I can only imagine that his heart is in his mouth waiting for me to respond.

Do I need to think about this or do I jump in feet first? My whole life will change.  I don't even think I can imagine to what degree it will change. Even without there being a child involved who will be living with us  and becoming a step-mom, my entire life will be wildly different. The full force of it is hitting me now. For a start, it would mean leaving my parents, my small home town, my bestie, Zoe and being a billionaire's wife. I have to remind myself that it will be Sebastian's wife I will be and I am in love with him. So in love with him. But what will I be giving up? I am only twenty-three. Am I ready to take on a child and be a stepmom? Crikey it makes me sound so old.

I squeeze his hand. "I don't know what to say, Sebastian." He squeezes my hand back.

"It is okay, American Girl. This is a lot to absorb. You are still so young and it is a lot to take in and to look after a child too and shoulder the responsibility with me is no small ask. I have to let you know though that I have fought for Arabella for many years and now she is ready to come and be with me." 

"I know." My voice is but a whisper. I can only imagine how much he wants her with him. "I'm scared, Sebastian. What if I am a rubbish stepmom? What if I fuck it up? I know I want to be with you for eternity, that's given. I don't want anything more and I know you will allow me the freedom to pursue my dreams with my photography and the travelling, well I guess you do so much of that anyway and I can work from literally anywhere."

"This is true, however, I have to manage that now, Ava. I have to make sure that Arabella has stability above everything else. I will need to revise how I work, the hours I spend away everyday and the travel, that will need to come down an awful lot. We will of course still travel and during her holidays from school there will be much travel. The world is big and I want my daughter to live and breathe it. I want her to experience new cultures and people. It will enhance her growth and respect for other cultures. That is vital for her." 

"I understand and to be honest, I love the idea of you being around more. That would be perfect."

"Listen my darling," he says with such softness I feel as if his words are caressing me. "I would never expect you to give up your dreams. Not ever. They make you the person you are and you are extremely gifted. You are passionate about what you do and that turns me on, I love how happy you are with your camera in your hand. That I would never take away from you. Being with me by my side wouldn't mean you can't travel. We can work it out, when you want to travel I will adapt my schedule to be at home with Bella. There is nothing in this world I want more than my two beautiful girls. You both mean the world to me. You are my universe, Bella is my universe." 

"I'm just so young. I mean I have always wanted a family of my own someday it's just. You know I'm only twenty-three." He looks anxious as if he is about to lose me all over again. It pulls at my heart. I lean forward and kiss him tenderly. "You are my life now too, Sebastian. I don't want to ever lose you, or be without you. The last twenty-four hours were harsh and made me realize just how much in love with you I am." 

Sebastian pulls me into him and holds me to his chest. I inhale the intoxicating fragrance of lemon and cinnamon. His arms make me feel loved, secure and wanted. This isn't something I want to never feel again, nor not have in my life. It is him I want and if that means he comes as a package deal now, well then I have to accept that. Who knows, I may absolutely love being a stepmom to Arabella. It makes me smile as he lays a kiss on my head. This man is so gorgeous, he drives me insane with his hotness and his sexy tiger eyes. The thought of him with his child does something to my heart. It feels full, content and dare I say it, overwhelmed with happiness.

"You will be the perfect father, Sebastian." He kisses the top of my head again and I straighten myself up. If I am not ready now, I guess I never will be. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my days with. He is the man I want to see first thing in the morning when I open my eyes, to drink in his beauty, his square jaw and shadow, to trace my fingers along his tattoos and to have wild abandoned passionate nights with. The man who will hold me and call me mi carina. The man who will stand by myside forever and eternity. It's a no brainer really then isn't it?

"Let's do it." I say simply. His eyes now full of love and surprise. 

"Are you sure. This is no light thing."

"All I know, Sebastian is that I love you so much it physically hurts. My heart bursts when I am with you. I think about you endlessly when I am not with you and can't wait to be with you when we're apart. You fill me up and make me feel content. There are not enough words to describe how you make me feel. When I am with you, I feel whole like the woman I wanted to be when I grew up. I am sure, Sebastian. Very sure."

He pulls me into him and kisses me passionately, our tongues explore each others and I feel myself wanting him here and now. He draws away, our breaths are jagged our lust for one another yet again rising steeply. "Let's go." He says simply and takes my hand and pulls me out of my chair. 

"You have made me the happiest man alive. I love you with all my heart my beautiful American Girl. I will always love you." Sebastian places his right arm around my waist as we walk towards the terrace lift, I am already excited for what naughtiness he has in store for me in the bedroom.