Santa Fe Billionaire

Chapter 65

Ava

Well if you're wondering how my conversation with Mark went when he dropped the bombshell of wanting me back. Here goes.

Mark: "I want you back, Ava."

Me: "It's a bit late for that. Don't you think? I've moved on Mark."

Mark: "Come on baby."

Me: "Don't call me baby. I'm not your baby. You have no right to put yourself in my face, coerce me to have coffee with you then tell me, oh by the way it didn't work out with Charlotte. Followed by, I want you back."

At this point I wanted to slap his face, throw my coffee at him but that would have been a waste of a perfectly good drink, and run out on him. Only I wasn't quite finished. How I managed to restrain myself is beyond me because my blood was above boiling point. I could feel my face being flushed with anger, my fingers itched to scratch his eyes out.

Mark: "It's not quite like that. It just wasn't working. I realized I had made a grave mistake. I didn't feel the same way about Charlotte as I did you, only I was so stupid. I thought lust was love and it was a massive wrong doing."

Me: "I think you've said enough, Mark. That's the point. You were with me and fell in lust with Charlotte. The woman who was more your sort of woman than the one you had been dating for five years. More than the one you lived with, proposed to and was supposed to be marrying a few months later. I can't stand the sight of you. You broke my heart. I couldn't function. I felt like my world had dropped out and that I was dying. Physically, emotionally and mentally I was a wreck. Everyone worried about me. I didn't even set foot out of the house for three months. I stopped vlogging, taking pictures, going shopping and lost interest in myself. I stopped taking care of me."

I stop to catch my breath becoming fully conscious that my voice wasn't quite as low as I thought because I was drawing some attention. People were watching as my anger unfolded, my rage and torment at the man who sat opposite me who literally had destroyed me. The man who I had loved with my whole heart, the man I would have died for. The man I wanted to be with forever.

He actually looked disturbed, his eyes were moist and I feared that he was going to break into tears. Our hearts were once one. We had pledged to be together for the rest of our lives, together for always. Now it's too late.

Me: "I'm sorry, even though I don't know why you deserve a sorry, Mark. But it is over for good. I've met someone new and I'm moving to Spain to be with him and his daughter. We are getting married in six months' time. I wish you a happy life. You will get over it."

I gathered up my camera and bag and left him sitting with his mouth open. It was like a scene from a movie, the only thing that was missing, was the sound of people clapping and cheering me on. Because you know what? I deserved at least that.

So, do I hurt now over it all? No.

Do I feel sorry for Mark? Yes. Not because he can't have me but because he's a lost soul who doesn't really know what he wants. Or perhaps he did all along but couldn't resist temptation when it was put under his nose. Either way it's his loss. I'm happy with Sebastian. I feel like I've found my soulmate. I never thought I would again and it's taken for Mark to destroy me when we split up and them for me to meet Sebastian, to realize that what I have now is real. It's the forever and happy ever after I'm looking for and I hope to God and pray that Arabella will accept me. Because I know if it's a toss-up between the both of us, Sebastian will choose his daughter and so he should. She is his life, his breath, his everything.

I was so blindly angry that all I did afterward was come to my room and cry. Yes I did cry. I cried for the hurt and the pain he put me through. Seeing him, hearing him opened up old wounds. Finally, I got myself together and had the shower I so desperately needed.

Feeling hungry at around eight, I ordered room service. The thought of eating in the restaurant didn't appeal to me, I was still reeling from seeing Mark.

Now I'm just plain mad for allowing him to get to me like he did. It was a waste of what was supposed to have been the perfect day. Tomorrow, I meet with my agent, that at least I am looking forward to. I've got so many fantastic ideas for my book and she's talking about a three book deal which I can do since I've got such a back catalog. It's so exciting and this lifts my spirits.

After dinner I sat and read a book trying damn hard not to be more pissed off about the whole Mark scenario and waited for what seemed like an eternity to hear from Sebastian.

It's now just gone ten and I am so happy that Sebastian has landed and made contact. My stomach is in knots, it won't be long now until he sees his daughter. I'm so nervous and wonder how I would react if my father came to tell me that I was going to have a stepmom. It is so scary. Will I be good enough? Will I know the right things to say to her when she comes home crying because someone was mean? Will I be able to help guide and navigate her through life as she grows up and becomes a teenager and an adult? Shit this is so scary. I am petrified. Is this what people go through when they decide to have a child? Do they know what they are doing? Sebastian has assured me I will be perfect in both their lives but still I am not sure, it is so huge.

Mom will be there for me and my father, at least I will always have them to turn to. Thinking of them makes me all too aware how much I will miss them when I move to Spain and Zoe of course. My best friend since childhood. It'll be strange not living with her, borrowing each other's clothes, fixing our hair, going out together and crying over corny, girlie movie. But this is the life I am choosing. I am choosing to be with Sebastian, to be a stepmom and to embrace the life that stands before me.

I know he's worried about me having seen Mark again and I can understand why he was curt with a couple of his messages. I don't think I need to tell him Mark wants me back. It's history. It's in the past. It's over. Finito. End of story. I will never go back to a man who ditched me.

Feeling bush-whacked I put my book down, my stomach still knotted at the thought of Arabella rejecting me and wanting her daddy for herself and get into the large king size bed. The Egyptian cotton sheets feel luxurious against my bare legs. I lay my head on the two fluffy pillows and stare up to the ceiling. Thinking about everything. Thinking about nothing. Thinking about tomorrow. Knowing as tired as I am, that sleep will elude me once again.

I feel like I am so close with this new life ahead of me, yet so far away. In a few hours once he has spoken with Arabella, I will know. Finally, I can feel my eyelids beginning to close.