TAKIPSILIM: Jian Glenn Villareal-Cardejas

Epilogue: Unending us

Epilogue

Jian Glenn Villareal-Cardejas

Seeing him after 8 years shocked my whole system. Inaamin ko that there's something on me that I can't even explain. Pinilit ko lang kalimutan siya sa sistema ko pero nakalimutan ko atang tuluyang burahin siya sa buhay ko.

Celine is a friend of mine. We do hang-outs because she really likes me but I turned her down. So she let me and my family think that she's my girlfriend.

Seeing Lexus now is very different. He has this baritone voice, his style is very elegant even he'll just walk in there with shorts and a plain shirt screams elegant and charisma. He still loves to have bangs that his hair is already on his eyes. Can't help it to adore his face. Hindi na ako magtataka na kahit sino pwedeng-pwedeng mahulog sa kaniya.

Will I still hate him? I still hate the way he's around my life again. So I confronted him when we met again in my parents house. Hindi ko kasi maintindihan bakit kailangan niya pang bumalik? At parang okay lang ang lahat. Na parang hindi niya ako iniwan. Na para bang wala siyang ginawa.

At our batch reunion he's so quiet. He keeps on drinking even though he's not fond of alcohol. Inaamin ko na kahit noong magkasama kami mas palainom pa ako kaysa sa kaniya. Hindi naman ganoon kataas ang tolerance niya sa alak.

Ayoko man siyang pansinin pero hindi ko magawa. Nakipag-away pa ako sa sarili ko kung bakit kailangan ko siyang iuwi sa bahay ko.

He keeps on telling me about what happened 8 years ago and he keeps on telling me that I am sorry. He keeps calling my name while crying. He even hugged me and didn;t let go of me. He slept after crying sitting on my lap for almost an hour when we got inside my house. I can't do anything he doesn't want to let go.

At kinaumagahan nga hindi niya maalala ang pinaggagagawa niya kagabi. Ayoko na lang sabihin dahil baka kung ano na naman magawa niya.

"Coffee?" I nodded.

I don't know but it feels like I still like him after 8 damn years. Is it really possible that I still like him? I don't know and I'm not sure but there's something on me that I feel like something to him.

Because I already told him that Celine is not my girlfriend when we made out in my hotel room I woke up alone the next morning. Hindi ko siya mahabol dahil inuna ko muna sina Daddy. Kasalanan ko rin naman talaga. Masakit ang ulo ko pero pinilit ko pumunta sa party. I saw him hanging out with Celine and her friends.

When I saw a girl talking to him and suddenly sat on his lap I didn;t hesitate to go after them.

I smirked at how he talked the girl into getting off of him. Nang makita ko na kamuntikan na siyang matumba ay kaagad kong hinawakan ang braso niya. Hindi pa siya makapaniwala na ako iyon kaya nahirapan pa akong iuwi siya.

"Jian?"

I almost lost my balance when calls me Ian again.

"Hmm?"

"Pwede ba akong maging selfish na hindi nagiguilty? Pwede naman iyon diba?" he asked.

I don't know how to answer his question. Dahan-dahan na ang paglalakad ko ng maramdaman ko na naman ang mahihinag hikbi niya.

"Hindi mo nga ako pinagdamot noon eh. Gusto ko rin itanong sa'yo. Bakit naging selfish ka? Bakit hindi iyong magiging tayo ang pinagdamot mo? Bakit mo ako iniwan ng sandaling mahal na kita."

Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang kusa na lang tumulo galing sa mga mata gamit ang balikat ko dahil hawak-hawak ko siya.

Nang makarating kami sa k'warto ay inilapag ko na siya sa kama niya. Tulog na rin naman siguro si ate. Tatayo na sana ako nang makarinig ako ng munting hikbi. I saw him crying while he's sleeping. Dali-dali na akong tumayo para sa maglkad palabas nang marinig ko siyang magsalita muli.