Tick Tock (Destiel Soulmate AU)

August 21st, 2:34:19 PM

Cas shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Dean scratched the back of his right knee, the nervous tick that he had picked up after the glass in his knee so long ago had been removed, coughing. Kate Hamilton clicked away on her computer, her pretty petite 5 feet frame obviously convincing Dean, by the frown on his face as he stared at her, that they would need someone a bit tougher to be their advocate.

Cas just wanted to find her. Her. Whoever she was. He wondered how long until they would find out her name and stop having to refer to her as...well...her. He just wanted to see her face again, find her and look at her and say...whatever he was going to say. He hadn't worked that out yet. He just wanted to have the last word.

Maybe he would apologize. Maybe he would spit in her face. Maybe he would do both at the same time. Maybe he would-

"Castiel," Kate said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He jumped, looking up to see Dean, his family, and Kate both staring at him expectedly. Dean reached over and took his hand, rubbing his thumb over Cas's, and Kate raised her eyebrows, her red lipstick stained lips scrunching up. Her long beautiful thick Indian black hair was tied up in a high ponytail, perfect and professional. Despite Dean thinking that she was some pretty little weakling, Cas could tell just by talking to her the other night that she was going to turn out to be one of those fierce powerful woman who could cut a man's heart in half with a high heal shoe and eat it while still being the kindest person you knew. Cas already admired her and he barely knew her.

"Do you hear what I said?" she asked. Her voice was like smooth, like butter, professional and polished. He felt like an idiot, sitting in front of her in her office with Dean in the other chair and his parents standing behind him. A complete stupid idiot.

Then again, I went and got myself raped. I am an idiot.

He shook his head, and she recited patiently, like she had done this millions of times. "We're going to have to take care of the most basic piece of information first. Do you or do you not want to press charges?"

When he paused, staring at her, then his parents, who were just watching him, and Dean, who was too, she added, "You're an adult, so it's your choice. Not your soul mate, not your parents, yours."

There was an uncomfortable silence as Cas paused, staring at his palms. They were sweaty. He needed to take another bath. A longer one this time. Dean cleared his throat loudly, probably holding back the urge to yell at him, that of course you should press charges what the hell are you even thinking about it for?!

But he couldn't. This was all his fault. He had walked into that stupid dark alley, he had wanted to prove how much a goddamn man he was. Look where it got him. In the office of a rape advocate and his soul mate constantly worrying about him.

God, he was such a baby. Such a little kid.

I'm not an adult. Being an adult is knowing what to do, never doubting yourself. I'm still a stupid child.

He was just about to say that, no, he didn't want to press charges, but he just wanted to find her, see her again. It was so twisted, and he didn't know what the hell was wrong with him, and that's when he caught hold of his dad's face in the reflection of the window.

He looked terrible. Cas's dad was a overworked doctor who pretended to be professional and businesslike at the hospital, but in reality was a dork who cooked terrible tasting pancakes for his family every Sunday and had a weird obsession with the French Revolution. He sang songs by an old band called the Beatles enthusiastically every time there was a silence, and fell asleep when watching action movies. And right now, he was looking at Cas like his whole world was crashing down in front of him because he knew. He knew that Cas was going to say no. And the look on his face, utter...whatever the hell it was, was more than he could bear.