Tick Tock (Destiel Soulmate AU)

January 25th, 1:08:43 AM

Fun fact: The Joys of Gay Sex is a real book! I found out about it in the middle of GT class in 8th grade when we were reading the Banned Book List outloud.

Stupid.

He was stupid.

Cas couldn't believe he let himself think that Dean could possibly be his friend. Why the heck would Dean actually WANT to be his friend? He was a boring med student who read 24/7, while Dean was a cool mechanic who wore leather jackets and walked and acted like he was the king of the world. What could he possibly see in Cas?

And to think that Cas had become so loyal so fast, had thrown himself in front of a baseball bat that could possibly kill him without batting an eye, only for Dean to break it off 3 days later. The Winchester had probably thought it was a idiotic move, that he was really clingy or something. 

He sighed, reaching for a book on his shelf at random- yes, it was 1:00, but he wasn’t going to be able to sleep anyway-and opened to the first page. 

Of course, it was The Joys of Gay Sex. It had to be. 

God had probably thought it would be funny for Cas to reach for that one specific book out of the hundreds he had. He was probably laughing his butt off in heaven right now. 

Feeling a new burst of rage bubbling up, Cas slammed the book down on the floor, startling Shiba. She awoke with a hiss. Groaning dramatically, he walked and grabbed To Kill a Mockingbird off his shelf, collapsing on his bed. He heard his cat drink a little bit of water, and tentatively walk around the room a little. She was getting more and more familiar every minute, and Mr. Milton had told Cas that she had already explored the whole house twice when Cas was in college or with Dean. Shiba was a real friendly cat, and although it usually took one or two weeks for a cat to even look at a new owner in the eye, Cas suspected she’d interact and play with him within the end of the week. 

He returned to the book, his mind wandering anyway. 

What had Cas done to make Dean realize that he didn't want him as a friend tonight? He had taken him out for dinner, had gotten his younger brother an interview for a full ride scholarship, for God’s sake. Was it something he’d said?

Oh God, I pushed him into the kiss didn’t I?

Truth be told, when Dean had kissed him, yes, he was surprised, but he had…wanted it. He hated admitting this, but he had wanted to kiss him back and then one day they could run in a field towards each other in slow motion with Cas wearing a brown suede vest and Dean-

Woah, I need to calm down.

And he had made that feeling clear when he asked Dean if it was a mistake, right? But of course, he’d screwed it up like always, when he’d kept on asking over and over again. Dean had been quiet that time, looking down at his hands for some reason. He had been obviously thinking about how this whole friendship thing was a blunder, and Cas had just pushed him over the edge by doing that. 

Maybe he should just forget about this whole Dean thing. It hadn't even been a week, and Cas was already getting clingy. This was a clean sign from the universe that getting  way too attached to people was a serious mistake.

He opened to the first page of one of his favorite books and started reading:

When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow. When it healed, and Jem’s fears of never being able to play football were assuaged, he was seldom self conscious about his injury. His left arm was somewhat sorter than his right; when he stood or walked, the back of his-