Tick Tock (Destiel Soulmate AU)

November 14th, 2:15:09 PM

Dean still came to the meetings with Kate. But that was it; Cas never saw him anywhere outside of that. Dean never touched him, never talked to him unless necessary, never even made eye contact with him for more than a second. Cas never tried anything more. He wondered if they had officially broken up. Shouldn't they have...talked about it or something? That, yeah, we're broken up now, nice knowing you, bye. It had been a little more than 2 months since. Soul mates never broke up, and if they did, they did it with the knowledge that they would be alone forever and would have to live by themselves until they died.

Meanwhile, Cas fought his...addiction, in lack of a better word. He had reduced the intensity to only a cigarette or two a day, rather than a pack a day that before, but it was still there. His parents had found out soon enough after Anna, they weren't stupid, and after a series of shouting matches and fights that nearly made him go deaf, had forced him to get a therapist. Her name was Evelyn, and she was pretty nice. She didn't mmmhmm like Cas thought she would and she helped him feel a little better about the rape and fight his dependence on the marijuana.

She never helped him feel better about Dean, though. No one could. Dean had left a huge gaping hole in his heart that was irreplaceable and he knew no amount of going home with random girls or guys who hadn't found their soulmates yet and wanted to have some fun was going to fill it in the slightest. But he did it anyway, in hopes that it would.

It was a cruelty of life that the heart kept beating even after it had been broken in too. It could feel as though it was being gripped in an ice-cold vice and ache as if it would implode in your chest, but still the boom-boom continued.

Cas still went to college and got decent enough grades, mostly to please his family so they wouldn't disown him or something. He had even moved out and gotten his own apartment, despite his parent's protests. Anna and Eric had gotten their own apartment too, in the floor below him. His finals were coming up next month and he was going to have to start preparing for those. But that was it. Life went on. Surprisingly, without Dean, the world didn't stop spinning or a meteor crash into the Earth and kill them all, although a lot of times Cas absentmindedly thought that if it did he wouldn't really mind at all.

The visits to Kate started becoming less and less frequent over the days because there was never any sign of his rapist and the police lost interest in his case as time progressed, which meant he saw Dean less and less. Kate worked hard still though, determined as hell to find Agnesse.

Cas was sitting in her office right now, next to Dean as usual (but not too close, mind you), and dropped a small notebook filled up with his account of the rape on her desk with a thump. He smiled politely at her, gesturing to the notebook.

"Here it is. Finally did it."

Kate took the notebook, flipping through the pages. "The complete account? Every single detail?"

He nodded, wiping his palms on his pants. "Every single one. Even the stupid ones, like how I was thinking about the toppings on the pizza and how long I thought the alley was and how her eyes were the same exact shade as-"

He stopped himself.

Kate stopped flipping through the book and looked up, her eyes shifting from Cas to Dean. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room, and Dean scratched at the back of his knee nervously. Cas remembered that being his nervous tick and it hurt all over again, the pain of losing him, it all came back and it had never felt so raw because he knew all these things about Dean and he would never be able to use them again. He knew exactly where to press into Dean's skin while they were kissing to make him completely lose it, what type of burgers were Dean's favorite, how terrified he was of cockroaches but tried to hide it because he thought he wouldn't be manly anymore like his dad wanted him to be.