Something Great.

Chapter 12 - I don't like this feeling

He explained to me that he still had feelings for his ex and they were talking again, but they weren't going to start dating again until he can trust her again.

I kind of zoned out when he was talking to me about that.

I felt like my heart started to get heavy and then it started hurting, like with each word, he was setting a 500 lb. weight on my heart. Yet it felt like it was slowly ripping apart, like a piece of paper.

I don't even care if he's going to be happy with another girl. I still want him in my life. I want to talk to him, I need to talk to him.

"Well can we at least be friends?" I ask. I feel pathetic and going against what I stand for. I watch movies and read books about how a girl loves a guy so much, and even through all the wrong he has done, she still wants him.

I always found that so pathetic and desperate. Yet here I am. Silently pleading that he will keep talking to me even though he's most likely going to get back with Belle.

"Yeah we can still talk. I'm still trying to figure all this out."

These past few months I was the happiest and the thought of them going away makes me feel alone and cold.

*****

We talked the rest of the day. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm feeling.

I don't know if I am truly in love with this boy, I like him, I really do, but he's going back with his ex and I still want him here with me.

I don't know what to do.

I finished the conversation a few hours before I decided to go to sleep.

I thought he liked me and wanted to date me. I was willing to date him if he would've just been patient.

Was he lying to me? He said he would wait as long as he had to for me. Did he get tired of waiting for me? That means I really wasn't worth the wait.

How long had they been talking? Was he talking to her the same time he was talking to me? The thought of anyone ever cheating on me makes me so angry, my dad did it to my mom and I think it's the most you could do to fuck up a relationship. If you weren't happy with your boyfriend or girlfriend, just break up with them. Don't make yourself look like an ass and start talking to all these different people. It's just so wrong.

Anger, sadness, depression, insecurity, heartbreak is all mixed together and filling up my whole body and I start to cry but I stop myself.

On the bright side, he'll still be talking to me. But wait, Belle has a boyfriend so why is she trying to get him back.

Liam told me she broke up with him. It was because some other guy had been flirting with Belle and Liam was saying to her that, 'if he ever touches you I'll kill him' the whole jealousy thing. Belle didn't like that so she broke up with him and I guess a few hours later, she started making out with that guy and they had been dating ever since. My thing is, if she broke Liam once why would he want to go back? To be honest, I could probably treat him so much better, I could handle a bit of jealousy, I don't know I have never dealt with that before. I do know that I am not a whore and wouldn't break up with him for a guy that she is cheating on now with her ex.

I could treat Liam with respect.

I hear my sister come in, "hey is everything alright?"

"Not really"

"What happened?"

I summarized to Jen about Liam going back with Belle, I even mentioned my pathetic plead to keep him in my life.

She doesn't agree with me. She says I should just cut him off completely. But I can't. I need him in my life. No one will understand, I barely even understand why I still want him. But I know that he's all I want. And I'll always find a way to be with him. I can't let him go. Realizing all this makes me think if I really am in love with him.

----------------------

hey everyone!!! I have over 70 reads so thanks!!! and to the few of you that are actually reading all the way through, I am advising that you should start again from the beginning because seeing I changed the name to Liam. but to those of you who don't wanna start from the beginning, the character Jack is now Liam and Ellie is a sophomore now and Liam is a freshman. I did this to make it a fanfic, and well just better. okay thank you!! please keep reading and spread the story around!i

.