Something Great.

Chapter 26 - Same Highs

***songs for this chapter***

habits (stay high) - tove lo

happy little pill - troye sivan

amnesia - 5 seconds of summer

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**Liam's POV**

Same old shit, different day.

I was doing anything I could to get this aching feeling of regret off my chest. I fucking love her. And I fucking left.

I was over at Dan's house, doing what I've been doing since El and I stopped talking. Getting high. Drinking. Whatever it would take. She hated it when I did that stuff, I stopped just for her, I would do anything for her. But she's gone, so what's the point.

The fucked up thing is I could go back to her and end this pain, but who knows, maybe she doesn't want that. God do I want that though. I fucking left and I already went through the stage of trying to blame her, but it wasn't her. I told her I would wait and I didn't. I should've just waited, I understood why she was scared, I was just selfish. I hate myself so much for leaving. 

"Dude she had the cutest laugh and she was so innocent, god I just wanted to fucking grab her and kiss her and never let go." I took another hit, passing the blunt back to Dan. 

This always happened, I could be high off my ass and talk about her endlessly. Dan was used to it.

"Take another shot goddamn." Dan was annoyed this time. 

I shot back the clear liquid, welcoming the warm sting the ran down my throat. I puckered my lips and shook my head.

"I will give you this Liam, she has a nice ass." I shot a glare at Dan.

"You've looked?" I tilted my head, getting defensive, that ass is mine and he was fucking looking.

"How could I not?" He chuckled and I tightened the grip on the couch cushion beside me.

"Just fucking stop, she is mine and you have the audacity to say that."

"Bro, she's not yours anymore." Dan took another hit after saying that.

I wasn't even mad about what he said anymore, the thought of her being with anybody else struck a nerve in me that was uncontrollable. I walked outside, the night air filling my senses, not calming me at all. I repeatedly punched the side of his house, thank god his parents weren't home, his neighbors probably didn't give a single flying fuck as I slammed my fist on the wooden house. 

"DUDE!"

"LIAM!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

I just kept punching. I fucking need her. Dan tries to pull me away but I'm way stronger than him, his efforts failing.

I crouch to the ground, pulling out strands of grass and punching the ground. 

"EL!"

I LOVE YOU EL PLEASE!"

"I'M SORRY EL PLEASE COME BACK!"

"I MISS YOU!"

I begin screaming into the grass, I don't care how pathetic I look right now. I start to sob, but quickly stop, realizing I could get the cops called on me. 

I get up, brush off my clothes and sit back down on the dark couch and take another hit.

"God forbid Liam just fucking message her do you see what you're doing to yourself. You could end all this pain for the both of you."

I laugh, both of us? 

"She probably fucking forgot about me."

"Have you seen at her at school? For the love of god you have band class with her! Her eyes are red and her cheeks are puffy, not to be mean but she looks like a wreck, I always see her in the halls going to the bathroom. Are you seriously that fucking oblivious as to see this hurt her too? I even noticed and that says a lot Liam."

I remember her constantly asking to leave band class. Seeing her small hands cover her face on her way to the door, sometimes she wouldn't go to the bathroom and I would look over and see her look choked up, like she was holding something back, once in a while I heard a light sniffle or saw red eyes, a delicate tear rolling down her cheek before she quicky wiped it away.

I really am stupid, I knew that was about me, but I tried to brush it off. 

I hurt my girl. I can see it. That night when I ran into her at the restaurant, I looked in her eyes, well I tried to because she kept looking at the ground. Her eyes were empty, I remember when they were so bright, they were a beautiful blue, they held something in them, they carried every good feeling. They made you feel good, they made you want to do good, her innocent feature shined through with her eyes.

I loved how innocent she was. She was so positive.

She always encouarges me to do my homework. Practice for band class. Simple things I found annoying were the most endearing.

I love everything about her.

I love how she'll constantly fix her blonde bangs and push them out of her face and lightly huff when they fall back. I love how when she's nervous she plays with her fingers. I love how she'll obsess over the music she listens to that I hate. I love how she's innocent and bright. I love how she stands out. She's her own person.

I love how she's stronger than she appears, her innocence hides it. She fights for what she wants, like me. She tried to fight for me and I pushed her away.

At the restaurant I was about to walk out on my dad, I saw her and remembered how she'd pester me not to start a fight with my dad. I sat down, for her. I worked things out with my dad, for her. I was closer with my parents, because of her.

She gave me the world and all I gave her was rain.

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yes hi hello i'm here and alive and yes this chapter is short but there is still a lot to come and there will be some Liam POV. 

but sorry i'm slow at updates, school and marchinf band has me fucking busy all the time ugh. 

well i hope you guys liked this chapter and please keep reading and voting and share this story okay ilysm!!