Something Great.

Chapter 29 - Home

I woke up with that goddamn boy on my mind. It's my last night in this hospital and its 3 am. They disconnected me from the morphine earlier today and it has been absolute hell. The pain is all throughout my body, there's no one specific spot where it hurts the most. It starts from my back and radiated everywhere, even to my toes. I woke up screaming and crying, it was horrific. The pain from my back and my heart was not a good combination. My sister was staying the night with me and she heard me and immediately called for a nurse. One ran in and asked if I wanted to move to a bed and I said no, then she asked if I wanted a pain pill and then a sleep pill and she kept asking other stupid questions and I was practically screaming at her to hurry up. A few minutes later I fell back asleep. But in those few minutes I thought about him. It's funny how in my worst of times I would always come back to him. I'm literally experiencing the most painful event of my life and he's still crossing my mind. I miss him so much and he forgot about me, I knew it, he forgot about my surgery or he just didn't care to come but he promised me he would. I want him so much to just hold me and tell me this will all be over soon, no other comfort feels genuine unless it's from him.
***Next Day***
The whole hospital stay was long enough, the 20 minute car ride home felt like 20 hours. I'm in so much pain since they unconnected me from the drugs, it's unbearable. Once I got home I couldn't get comfortable, I was literally screaming from the pain and I'm the type of person to laugh if I hurt myself.
A few days went by and the pain has gone down a little, I still have pills that I need to take for it, so most of the time I'm practically spaced out. I'm not allowed to bend over for a few weeks and I can't lift anything heavier than a milk carton for about 6 weeks, so I can't do a lot.
With this pain, I'm forced to stay in bed most of time, if I need to sit up I can do it by myself but I need support, I have to eat in bed because I can't actually sit in a chair without a lot of cushioning, I can't even sit in a toilet without at least a towel behind me.
My mom decided to give me a shower, she brought a stool for me to sit on in the shower, I felt weak and ridiculous, but I had to go through with it. It took her a while to wash through my hair, I haven't had a shower in over a week so this was a real task.
Finally when I was done showering my mom sat me down on the bed and helped me sit up, she removed my bandage and replaced it with a new, clean one. Then she sat down behind me and placed a pillow in between us so I could lay on something. She began to untangle my hair which literally took about an hour, then she decided to put it in a braid so it couldn't get messy and it wouldn't be in the way. I was so happy to lay back down.
The next day Jen and I walked around my neighborhood to finally get me up and running, I have to stay active to speed up recovery. Some of my neighbors saw me and asked how I was doing then said how I was so strong and blah blah blah. Their compliments were nice but honestly I was just so tired and wanted to go back home.
Day by day things would be the same, I would wake up, lay in bed for a while, get a shower, do school work with my homebound teacher for an hour, replace my bandage, go back to bed, walk, then go back to bed again. That was my life until I had to go back to school. I felt myself going crazy.
I was honestly excited to go back to school, I had been so tired of not seeing my friends and staying at home 24/7. I just have to get through this weekend and I go back on Monday.
Unfortunately today I had an appointment to get my stitches removed, and I knew it would be hell. We got to the hospital and the wait wasn't long. Quickly we got into a room and the nurse recommended I lay down because it'll hurt less that way. I was so scared because I'll feel these stitches being pulled out of my back.
Finally a doctor came in and talked to me for a little bit about my recovery and going back to school, he said I was doing very well in recovering and to stay active.
"Are you ready Ellie?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
I squeezed my eyes at what I knew was about to come, I felt a snap and a pull at the top of my back, it felt more uncomfortable than painful. For a few short minutes that felt like a few long hours, I kept feeling the snapping and slow removal of the stiches, it felt as irritating as it sounds.
Soon enough it was over and I was back home. I'm honestly so excited to go back to school again, I miss seeing my friends everyday, and the best part is they don't even know I'm coming back! I am so excited to see their faces when I walk through those front doors.
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***Liam's POV***
I've been skipping school a lot, or I say that I'm too sick to go, even though my mom is slowly starting to tell that I'm faking it.
I can't stand to look in a mirror because I know what'll be staring back at me. An absolute train wreck. Messy hair, red eyes that could willingly stare at her beautiful face all day, dark under eye circles from lack of sleep because I'm too busy thinking about not trying to think about her so much, pale skin from lack of sunlight, chapped lips that once could speak loving words and would do anything to steal a kiss from her. Now I can't even speak without my voice cracking.
My mother came into my room and I didn't even spare a glance. I can't even look at anyone because I know the reaction I'll get, they'll ask what's wrong and I obviously can't open up to anyone, or they'll say I look horrible but what else is new.
"Liam the school called, you haven't been to school in almost 3 weeks."
"Yeah, I know."
"Liam I don't know what's wrong, you haven't spoke to anyone in these past few months, you never leave your room, you barely eat. I don't know how to help if you don't tell me."
I scoffed, "I don't need your help, in fact I don't want your help, there's nothing you can do about what's wrong with me."
"Well what the hell is wrong with you?" Mother was obviously annoyed.
"I don't know, obviously I'm probably depressed, you just listed off symptoms yourself. Being unsocial, eating too little or too much."
"I don't know why you're depressed, do you need a therapist?"
I chuckled, she just didn't get it, "If I can't even talk to my own mother what makes you think I could talk to a stranger about my problems?"
"Whatever Liam. I came in here to tell you that if you don't go back to school you're going to get into a lot of trouble, not only with me but with the school board, they're considering taking this to juvenile court." She obviously changed the subject because I outsmarted her, she thinks medicine and therapists are the way to go for anything bad, but none of that stuff fucking works. Chemical imbalances in your brain can't be cured by some damn pill, and giving countless checks just so strangers can listen to you talk about your shitty life doesn't fix the problem, it only gets whatever you need to say out of your system. No one or nothing can fix your own goddamn problems but yourself. But I don't know how to fix myself.
"Okay mom."
"You're going back on Monday."
I nodded and she left, returning back to my computer game, which my eyes never left while she was in here, I'm always doing destructive things or playing computer games, which is healthier to do I guess.
I wonder if she still wants me. After all this time I haven't talked to her or seen her, I wonder if she still cares.
I always reflect on what Dan said that one night. How depressed she always seemed, the tears, how small she became, she was noticeably losing weight, and that worried me.
At one point when we were talking she started developing some sort of eating disorder, I could tell. She never liked how she looked, she was always so insecure about herself and it troubled me because every inch of her is pure beauty, what she thinks are imperfections always add on, I don't care how cheesy that sounds, it's true. I loved that she wasn't stick thin, she had hips and curves and the right places.
That point in time I saw how she became smaller, when we ate lunch together she would get a little food but wouldn't eat it. She tried to hide it from me, she didn't bother telling me because she didn't think it was a big deal to skip a few meals here and there, but it wasn't just that, she could go a whole day without eating.
When I figured all that out I got so upset, I was angry because she didn't tell me but I knew that was the last thing she needed, she felt bad and she apologized, and from then on I did whatever I could to make her feel perfect, because she is, she's my princess.
Is she still depressed? Does she do the stuff I do to get over me? Has she started not eating again? All these thoughts clouded my mind and I felt the need to lash out, but I can't. Those thoughts made me so upset and I didn't know what to do, I found a cigarette in my drawer and lit it immediately, still thinking of her. Literally praying that she doesn't harm herself in any way, I want the best for her and I want her to be safe and away from bad thoughts, I don't her to be like me, I want her to be the opposite.
***Ellie's POV***
Tomorrow I'm going back to school and I am so anxious, no one knows I'll be there and the reactions I get will be priceless, maybe I'll get those cute stereotypical run and jump hugs, that would be great. How will my teachers react? They most likely won't care but oh well, nothing can kill my mood.
I go to sleep early that night and get a nice, long sleep. I wake up early and eat some breakfast and brush my teeth, then I put on some black shirts, a maroon tank top with my gray cardigan and black converses. Then I curl my hair and put on some light makeup.
I haven't looked this nice in a long time and I'm so proud of myself for actually trying.
Knowing that I can't lift practically anything school-related because all my books are heavy, I calm myself down knowing that it's only the last two weeks of school and most of the teachers won't be doing anything anyway, so I just bring a folder with me.
I have my mom drive me that morning to school, I don't want Grace to until all of my other friends are there too.
I get into the passenger seat of the car, practically bouncing up and down in excitement. I've never been this anxious to go to school and I love it.
"Goodness girl watch it, you're gonna bounce your head off my car."
"Yeah just hurry up please." I'm smiling like an idiot right now.
"I'm trying."
Thank goodness we finally pull into the back drive and I tell my mom goodbye and slam the door. I walk to the band room and slowly open the door. All my friends look over and their eyes go wide and the smiles light up their face. They all immediately come running to me and hug me and pick me up, this is the best feeling in the world. Knowing you're loved, knowing people care about you and actually missed your presence.
"Oh my god Ellie I missed you so much!"
"I'm so happy you're back!"
"I'm literally crying right now."
That's all I heard in my little group of friends, I missed them too, I can't wait to hang out with them soon.
I go to set my books down and I look up to see someone standing in front of me, "You already had your surgery?"
It was Liam, he looked sad.

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hey guys, sorry if there's a lot of grammatical errors but I've been so tired lately wow okay but thanks for reading guys! make sure to vote and share the story! don't be afraid to say your opinion ily guys!