Something Great.

Chapter 18 - New Beginnings

It's now almost the end of January, this year is already going by way too fast. Liam sent me a virtual kiss when the clock struck 12, marking the new year. Everyone has new resolustions. Losing weight, make better grades, start going to church. My resolution is to be a better person. A different person. I don't like who I am now. I don't like what I think. I'll remove the negatives, give myself a fresh start, because that's what New Years is all about.

I wish I could've actually got a real kiss from Liam. I love him, I know it, I just didn't want a relationship and he told me he'd ask me when he knew the moment was right. He is so good to me and we're not even dating. He really trusts me and I trust him as much.

He told me about Belle. They ended it because she cheated on him and she's been dating that guy ever since, I think his name is John. Liam told me he was so depressed since the break up that he wanted to die, because she promised so much, he loved her, but not anymore, now he has nothing to do with her. He told me that I saved him, I was the light in his darkness, I made him happy. And I feel the same, he has made me so happy. Every day I get butterflies and a stupid grin on my face when he messages me. I just wish we could hang out in person.

I roll out of bed wishing school had been cancelled, wishing for snow. Why couldn't I be one of those girls that just roll out of bed and look beautiful? Instead it takes makeup and nice clothes.

I don't even bother to try I just put on foundation with a sweater and leggings.

I walk down to the bus stop and I see my friend, Grace, already there.

"Hey there."

"This day has barely even fucking started and I want it over with." she greets me with an angry statement.

"What happened?"

"My mom didn't wake me up this morning so I was almost late."

"But you still got here before me."

"Yeah I know. But she knows to wake me up early so I can get ready so now I look horrible."

We had a small conversation about how she looked fine but she thought she looked ugly, typical teenage girl topic.

We soon got to school and I stood outside my classroom and Grace left.

I usually wait for Liam because he likes to hug me before class, I have that class with Sierra so she will be out there too. I see Liam coming and I instantly smile, I always do. He makes me so happy.

We talk for about 10 minutes before the bell rang, he gave me a big hug and I walked into my classroom.

"Oh I saw you guys hugging, why don't you just go out! Damn!"

"Shut up," I lightly laugh, "I'm not ready for a relationship yet."

We spent the rest of the period giving judgmental looks to each other whenever the teacher spoke, she was so rude.

The rest of the day went by quickly, thank god.

Grace and I talked a little on the bus before we were separated, we lived really close to each other.

I walked the rest of the way to my house and when my mom opened the door she immediately reminded me of my back appointment tomorrow, I have a pretty bad curve in my spine and lately it's gotten better but it's stayed the same the past year.

Next morning I woke up and my appointment was at 8:30. So I got to miss the first few periods of school, thank god.

My mom and dad drove me up to the hospital, which is 20 minutes away. I don't know why they're both going though, I guess this is the major appointment where I find out if I have to get surgery or not. I hope not.

We have to wait a goddamn hour I'm the waiting room before we can wait to have my x ray. Then I have to wait 20 more minutes for my x ray, with my thin, baggy scrubs. Finally the x ray is done but I have to wait for the actual doctor, which takes a good 30 minutes, still wearing the horrible scrubs.

The doctor came in, we did the routine, I had to get up, he had to feel my spine and do all that and then I could sit back down.

"Ellie, with your X-rays, they show your spine has not changed, but over the course of the year it's slowly gotten worse, and since your back brace wasn't working before, the only option that would prevent any further damage would be for you to get the surgery."

I started crying. All other emotions were blocked out, the world was blocked out, I saw my parents holding hands, they start to cry.

I was Ellie, the one who never had a broken bone, never one to have surgery, yeah I've been to the hospital when I was younger but that was for slight things like stitches or infection.

And now I'm getting this major surgery, and I can't help but think of the consequences. I also think I could have it a lot worse, I could have a worse disease or my curve could be a lot worse, but everything else was blocked out.

"Ellie it's normal and since you're young you'll bounce back quickly, older people have a hard time recovering, if you don't get the surgery in a year your regular sitting positing would be leaning forward." He demonstrated by leaning forward in his wheely chair.

I understand that, I understand that all perfectly fucking fine, but god forbid I've never been under the knife I'm gonna be scared. The rest of the time he explained to me that I'll be asleep the whole time and it'll all be okay, and then we got to scheduling.

"When is convenient for you guys?" My doctor asked.

My mom explained that I had a lot going on in the summer, so of course I had to be healthy enough for that. And with the recovering time being almost 2 months, she said it would be best if it happened late March.

March 29. That was my surgery date. I had not even three months till my surgery.