Fate of Existence | Book 1 ✔️

Chapter 30

I don't know how many days has gone by since that day. . .but it feels like none. That same ache that was painfully throbbing is now but a dull ache. In the place of pain came numbness. My heart feels empty and cold. I can barely even sense my wolf. That last time I heard her she was whimpering very low and softly; enough to sound her out and suppress any lingering tears that has yet to be shed.

I touch the fading mark on my neck and gently brush my fingers lightly against it. I can't even feel him anymore. My connection to him. . . Tears threaten to form in my eyes again causing me to shake my head and rise a little. My head begins to hurt at the very thought of crying anymore. I'm very tired of it as well. . .but I can't help it.

The first day was unbearable. There was searing pain coursing through my body mixed with a fair amount of heartache making feel like I was dying and I believe I did it at least some part of me did. I remember the sweat and the fever that came over me. . .I also remember the feeling of something intangible being slowly torn apart, shattering into small indistinguishable pieces.

The only person who came to visit me was Dany. . .if I saw any of them I wouldn't hesitate to kill them right on spot. She's the only one I can tolerate enough to be around. . .I know she didn't betray me like the rest of them. " The one you may take a bullet for may be the same person behind the trigger." I remember her saying that to me around the first couple of days she arrived here.

She lost her mate as well. My eyebrows furrow at this thought causing my wolf to stir slightly. It's a truth neither my wolf or I am willing to come to terms with. In my heart of hearts I believe he could still possibly be alive somewhere but in reality I know the very naked truth. I saw it with my own eyes. . .

" Hey. . .Lance." I hear Dany's voice then see her face as she peaks her face through the crack of my door. She gives me a small smile when I don't respond and comes closer to me despite my cold disposition. Her honey-colored eyes soon find mine, but look away as she tries to find an appropriate place to sit on my bed. She sets a plate of food on the table piled with four other untouched plates of food.

She smells fresh like outside. Her light forestry scent is masked in the roses and daisies she had picked earlier today speckled with Ally's, Micah's, and Jake's scents as well. " Are you going to eat something Lance? You know. . .it's unhealthy especially for you. You eat a lot and you're always hungry. It's making me worry even more about you."

". . .I don't have an appetite today."

" You said the same thing yesterday and the day before that and the day before that too. Do I have to persuade you to eat again?" I shake my head at this making feel lightheaded and weary.

" I know exactly how you feel. . . and it's going to take time. . .but you need your strength. We all do." She moves closer to me, putting her small hand on my back and begins to rub it cautiously and slowly sinks into it as she notices I won't smack her hand away.

". . .You smell. Get in the shower."

" I don't feel like it."

She slaps my back hard making wince a little. " Get in there now. You're letting yourself go a little far."

" How can I do that. . . how can I do anything when everything reminds me of him. . .?" I put my hand over my face as my headache starts to grow worse.

". . ."

"Do I have to strip you myself?"

I let out a scoff from surprise. " I mean it isn't like I wouldn't enjoy it or anything." She leans over me with a wry smile. " My sexual advances are inappropriate I know." Her hands fall on the bottom of my shirt as she looks at me.