Freak (Troyler AU)

Chapter Sixty-Eight

*Troye's POV*

I shivered uncontrollably on the spot, still freezing despite being inside the building now. My breathing was uneven and deep, as if I was trying desperately to calm myself down with no success. I wasn't sure how long I spent sitting like that either, strangely very similar to the night I sat by that lamp post, time just didn't seem to pass the same. 

I didn't remember anything I did or thought between the flashback and the time my phone buzzed in my pocket, only to tell me I'd been sitting there for over an hour. I climbed down and stood on shaky legs, opening the text Tyler had sent me.

"Hey babe, I'm done. Where are you?" I bit my lip, confused when tears started to form again. I was unsure why, deciding it must just be because of Tyler in general. Just the thought of him worried me right now, knowing what was looming just ahead of us. I could lie and tell myself nothing was going to happen, but I know it would. I couldn't just keep this information to myself and he was going to ask questions, just like everyone else. Except, the difference was, I cared about him too much to lie.

I couldn't put it off anymore though, knowing he was likely starting to worry about where I was. I texted him back quickly, asking him to meet me in the food court in a minute or two. I wasn't at all surprised when he texted me back saying he was already there.

Despite how little I was looking forward to the events ahead of us, I was still looking forward to seeing him, hence the speedy walk toward the food court. I slowed down when I reached it, eyes scanning the crowd for the familiar head of purple hair. It was only when they fell on the vibrant blue that I remembered the change. I smiled for the first time in what felt like ages, even if it was a bit weary and not nearly as bright as usual. I hurried toward him then, relieved to find the usual effect he had over me was still working. I felt instantly better in his presence, falling into the seat across from him with a loud exhalation.

"Eating? Again?" I laughed, gesturing to the pizza in his hands. He furrowed his brows as he studied me in silence, my heart dropping as I watched them flood with concern. Shit. He knows something's up, even if I'm more cheerful around him. He didn't speak up with his mouth full, swallowing before pursing his lips as he raked his eyes over my body.

"Are you okay?" He asked, reaching across the table to settle one of his hands on top of mine. He squeezed it gently, running his thumb over the side. I didn't know how to reply, biting my lip as nerves started to spark back up again. What do I tell him? 

"Y-Your hair looks great." I stuttered out, offering the most convincing smile I had in my arsenal. While I was smiling, I was practically begging him with my eyes not to press the issue. I knew I had to deal with it, I just wanted a couple more seconds to enjoy our date, or whatever this was classified as. Judging by the way he shook his head though, that wasn't exactly an option.

"I asked a question." He repeated, his voice gentle but firm. I sighed, slumping down against the table. I didn't push his hand away though, pulling it under me and squeezing it tighter. I pressed my lips to the back of it, taking a deep breath as I savored the last few seconds of the moment.

"No, not really." I muttered, surprised by how weak my voice sounded. I thought I could pull off at least sounding semi-okay, not like the total ruined mess I actually was right now.

"What happened?" He asked, the way he moved his hand underneath me making it clear he wanted me to sit up. I just shrugged my shoulders, trying to get the point across that I didn't want to sit up. I wasn't sure I could say this and keep eye contact.

"I don't wanna talk about it." I blurted, knowing I'd probably regret it if he actually did back off completely. I didn't want to talk about it, but I had to. If he didn't keep the conversation on the topic I might not ever get the guts to bring it up.