Love UnHeard || SeongJoong [Ateez]

[Part A] 5. Hypocrite.

The last day of this horrible week was here. After today I could actually get some rest.
My mind hasn't been on the best place lately, remembering my family and my childhood wasn't one of my favourite things to do, but after playing with my friends yesterday I couldn't avoid it.
The thoughts came like second nature, memories of my parents fighting and shouting at each other. Me escaping home after that.
The fear of being all alone just like how I was those days became bigger.
Maybe I was destined to be alone after all...

Wait wait. What the actual fricking frick fuck am I saying? Am I out my mind? For sure I was!
"I'm in the place I always dreamt of! The rough days will pass and I'll make friends in no time" I talked to myself, grabbing my stuff and getting out of the dorm.

But as soon as I reached class and saw those three faces my mood did a 180. I'm not talking again today.
Just their sight made me sick. Not like for real, but in some type of way. It was their money, of course that's what it was. So annoying...

-

When it was launch time, I found myself avoiding the dining hall again. A place full of all that nasty people, showered in money.

I sat at an empty bench, and when I finished my food I rolled up a cig. The afternoon was warm, the sun hitting right above our heads. This place is so different that what I'm used to. I started so excited and now, not even a whole month later, I can't wait till classes are over to go sleep and start all over again.

All days felt the same, like when the whole word was in lock-down due to the pandemic. Waking up, online school, eat, sleep, repeat.
I couldn't get rid of my home-sickness... But how can I? If I have no one to distract me from the feeling, and my optimistic attitude can last up to a point.

But just when I was about to start being sad, someone sat besides me on the bench. I turned to see who it was: A guy with long blond hair, his face proportions looked manually sculpted by Gods themselves. I awaited for him to talk.

"Hello" He smiled, I didn't expect his voice to be that manly. I bowed my head a little to say hello back, who was this man?

"How are you?" Did he just come to ask that? OH WAIT, DESTINY WANTS ME TO HAVE FRIENDS AFTER ALL. Be nice Hongjoong, be nice.

"You know, just having a cig before heading back in" I said trying to sound as cool as possible--even though being a nicotine addict wasn't really 'cool'. He just hummed in response. After some seconds he spoke again.

"I saw you pushing Seonghwa weeks ago" My mouth opened, so that's why he was here.
"I also saw you fight San" I guessed those were the names of 'Mr.Money Prince' and 'Rude asshole'.
"I know why you did it. I understand you were mad, but I can also observe you are not a bad person." He talks strange.

"Y'know, at first I also thought like that. 'Everyone here is flooded in money and they don't care about others apart from themselves' blah blah blah... But actually there are nice people here, like everywhere" Why does he know so much about me? Is he with me or against me?

"Seonghwa and San are my friends, just like Wooyoung" Ah shit not this again. "I'm not here to tell you what to do, I'm here to answer any questions you have. Like you, my family and I don't have much money, but luckily I befriended Seonghwa when I was very little. I don't have a scholarship like you do, I'm not as smart or hard working. I was just lucky to have such a nice friend like him that got me a place here".

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"Not everyone is looking at you and assuming you are below them. Trust me, it's all in your head".

"B-but, I've seen them! They look at me as if I was literal trash".

"Maybe you are just too self centered. Stop thinking like that, it won't help you".

"Wow, easier said than done. Why are you here anyways?" I asked again.

"I already told you" he stopped for some seconds. "Ask me whatever you want to know, about me, Seonghwa, San or Wooyoung" His gaze met mine. I didn't know what to ask. I never thought of this situation... A question came to mind quickly enough.

"What's your name?"

"Kang Yeosang" That sounded pretty, just like him.

"Are you poor?"

"Kinda."

"What do you mean kinda?"

"Am I financially unstable? Yes. Does Seonghwa and his family help us with the problem? Also yes."

"So what you are saying is that Mr.Money prince pays your fees and stuff?"

"No, absolutely not. What I'm saying is that my friend helps me financially. As cold as he looks he's the greatest person I've ever met."

"Keep your sweet stuff to yourself thanks." The fire of the cig I held with two fingers was already extinct, I forgot about it.

"You asked."

"You told me to ask."

"You agreed to it."

"You came out of nowh-" I stopped myself. A new question popping in my head.

"The rude guy, the one with the bleached bangs" I started.

"You mean San?"

"I don't care about his stupid name." I earned a dead glare from the pretty boy. Deserved.
"He called me awful things, and you still want me to believe they didn't brainwashed you into their capitalist mindset? He insulted my appearance, and called me Sewer rat."

"Ah, you don't get it?"

"What should I get? Their way of judging everyone by how they look or where they come from?!"

"EXACTLY!" He said slapping his knee. My confusion just grew. "You should get it! You do exactly the same! Isn't that a little hypocritical of you?"

WAIT WHAT? ME? A HYPOCRITE?!

"When did I do that?!"

"When you encounter Seonghwa; You assumed he didn't say sorry back because he thought he was better than you right? You shout it to the hole room."

I mean... Yes, I just assumed it because it had happened before. But that doesn't prove anything. That day I was just mad. I opened my mouth to speak but Yeosang cut me.

"Then, Wooyoung went to explain and clear things up. You decided he was there because he thought low of you and therefore, even tho you 'did nothing wrong', wanted you to apologise to his friend."

How does he get such accurate conclusions about my way of thinking? I just stared at him shocked, with no words to form.

"You still don't get why San was so rude to you? Why he didn't want you to look at his friend? Why he judged you because of your appearance?"

My jaw dropped. I knew why now.

"Oh, and of course. If you didn't believe Seonghwa apologised to you, I assume you don't really think he is deaf either?"

Wait no fucking way. Is he really deaf?

"Well guess what, he's been deaf since he was 4 years old" After saying that, Yeosang got up and walked away looking angrier than when we started this conversation. Just when he did, a thingy in my brain clicked.

"I'm fucking dumb."