WITH YOU- I Never Had A Choice ✔️

CHAPTER TWELVE

DYLAN

She stares at me silently. The shadow of the branches of the trees is beautifully dancing on her face. Her legs are tucked under her body. I wasn't expecting her to be awake. Even though I thought she would be sleeping, I couldn't stop myself from coming.

"May I?" I ask quietly. She nods slowly but doesn't say a word. I step in quietly, closing the door behind me. I walk across the room and sit on the other side of the window seat, facing her beside Bear.

We didn't break the eye contact until now when Avery looks away. One of my legs is folded under my body with the other us on the ground. I put my hand on the knees and take in a deep breath. "I didn't want to keep it from you..." I glance at her. She is still looking out of the window. So, I continue, "I realize that I was wrong and you deserved to know about it."

After she ran away, I tried coming behind her but to my better judgment, I let her take her time. She was hurt. I remember hearing something about Avery's parents being dead. Moreover, the grave she visited on our wedding day must be of someone she loved. Perhaps her parents?

As these questions begin to arise in my mind, I feel like shit for not knowing anything about her. I never once tried to know about her. Never did I ask her if she was forced into this marriage, never did I sit down to get to know each other. I am a selfish asshole.

All I cared about was that my mother was sick and that I got married because of her. Why did Avery get married? I don't know. Not that she is an opportunist or happens to be secretly in love with me. She is extremely successful and hates me with every bone in her body. Damnit! I don't want her to hate me!

I went back to my room after she ran away, but couldn't close my eyes. That hurt expression kept coming back to me. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the strong girl's eyes glistening with tears. And I hate to be the reason for it.

She looks at me, silently and looks out again. Her hands lie folded in her lab. The green of her eyes looks even more beautiful with the faint reflection of the moonlight, giving it a blueish hue. However, I continue, "I have always been my mother's lonely child. Didn't have many friends. Even when I was was young. It wasn't like I was spoiled or rude just that...I liked my alone time. About a year ago, when we found out about my mother's illness, I almost flipped. I didn't know what to do, how to do or anything. It was already late. The first few months, I tried taking her to the best doctors but they all just said it was too late. One night, when I was at my parent's house, my mom shared her feelings with me. And among those, the biggest fear was that I would never settle down. She saw my uncle do the same mistake and have a miserable life. At that time, all that mattered for me was fulfilling her wishes. I didn't even bother thinking about the consequences." I find her now staring at the space between us. Her forehead is crinkled by a soft frown. I know she is thinking about something. Maybe realising how fucked up I am.

I can't bear her silence. I would rather have her lashing out at me, shouting, arguing but this silence... I don't know what's going through her mind. Does she hate me more than she did?

"I didn't know if you would you know help me keep up my cover..." I look down embarrassed. I feel so bad. She never did anything for me to doubt her.

I am surprised when she reaches out and slips her hand under mine and starts rubbing her thumb gently on my knuckles. I don't look at her straight away but when I do, I find get starting at me intensely. Her head tilted at her side, making her silky smooth hairs flowing on her shoulder. "I might have said all those things about you being wrong at what you did, but that doesn't mean I don't understand your point of view." Taking in a deep breath, she continues, "you love your mother and that's the most important thing here. All you did was to make her happy. I am not mad at you for that..." I can't help but smile at her. Her sweet voice acts as a medication to my anxiousness. It's soothing and capable of healing internal wounds, I suppose.

We spend some time, silently enjoying the view outside. She still hasn't removed her hand from beneath mine and I don't want to lose the heat of her touch just yet.

She stares out of the window, still rubbing my knuckles subconsciously as if silently reminding me of her presence. My eyes keep shifting from her to the scene outside. Her hair is now resting on one side of her shoulders. I love the view out but looking at Avery's face is intoxicating in the sweetest way.

I would happily have this moment stop right here and change nothing about it. I am just going to accept one thing- I am thankful Julie eloped that day.