I hold people at arm length
because I'm afraid of them
seeing the cracks in my skin
I fear them seeing the blood
dripping from the open scars
I clawed from so long ago
I fear them seeing the heart
still beating despite being broken
and they'd think to themselves
—I am not perfect and
I cannot be lovedI hold people at arm length
because I can't have them
seeing everything wrong
with me; everything I have
tried so hard to hide
over the years of toil
They'd probably think
—I am not meant
to be lovedSurely there exists
a fault in my system
—how else have I felt
this defeated and empty—
This is why I cannot look up
to the heavens in wonder
and why I cannot enjoy
my life in this fragile soilSo, I hold people at arm length
because I'm afraid of them seeing
the storm brewing beneath my skin
and the dead sparkle in my eyes
—if they did, they'd think of me
as pathetic and not worthy
of anything good
—if they see I'm not perfect
that I'm not who they
told me to be—
I won't be loved
YOU ARE READING
an adjournment of scars, an endearment of stitches
Poetry❝𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘢�...