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Which home would I go back to? —the one where I may be relatedby blood but has scarred mefor life with words and deedsthey can't undo?

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Which home would I go back to?
 —the one where I may be related
by blood but has scarred me
for life with words and deeds
they can't undo?

Or would I go home
to the one where
I have crossed with
nothing but a wire
—braving depths of
toxic oceans underneath?
Not only did it left me
hanging, it even cut off my
only lifeline with a single word

Would I go home to the one
who offered me a place to stay
for a night of turmoil only
to drive me out the next
because I was one of
the "temporaries"?

Would I go home to the one
where I felt most alive
but was burned to the ground
by the system of the world
and the desire to gain it?

To the home of flies
and rubbish that once
have been me
or to the innocent rivers
of pure dreaming
and motivation flowing
freely and without anxiety
—both are razed to the ground
by my own hands with the help
of people who promised to fix me
but ended up wrecking more—
Tell me now—to which home
would I have to go back to
just to rest—at long last

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