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I signed a treaty with the universe thinking it would benefit me
But all it did was to push me down —to tell me that I'm not good enough— and I believed it because I gave out my name to be destroyed
I signed a treaty with fate and what could have been my destiny thinking these would glorify me
But all they did was to tell me I'm not meant for anything more than this and I believed it because I gave out my all before I could stand on my own
I signed a treaty with toil thinking I would be saved from a lifetime of it
But all it did was to bury me under stockpiles of unfinished schemes and failed hymns —burn me to the core because I'm still not empty— and I took it all in me because I gave up my pieces thinking it would fix me
I signed a treaty with death thinking I wouldn't get past the age of forty —all the heartaches, the loss of connections that's supposed to save me— I signed a treaty with death believing I'd live my best if I knew my time to be limited and I'm already at the end of what's supposed to be the start of my journey
