The day after our break up, I had work. Saige, the redhead I had met at the mass photo shoot had texted me and reminded me about it. I had no choice but to roll out of bed and actually do something with myself. I felt extremely emotionally drained and tired. When I dragged myself to the studio, Saige was waiting for me.
“Bro, you look rough. What happened?” She questioned. I grimaced.
“Everything is just so fucked up,” I droned, “I need him.” Her eyes widened and she nodded, catching onto the situation. She asked me how and why we broke up and I told her everything.
“Girl, you can’t just sit around and wallow in your sadness. What will that do besides make you feel worse?” She asked rhetorically. “You need to get off of your ass and get down to business. It’s time you found yourself, and I’m gonna help you do it! There’s this loft for sale but I need someone to room with. What do you say?”
“I have to get permission, but that idea is kind of perfect for my housing situation right now,” I said, trying to smile. I don't think it worked though, because she pulled me in for a tight hug.
"If you keep crying and feeling bad for yourself, you're not gonna get your life together. You're gonna be in the same place you started off in," Saige explained.
"Thanks," I sighed.
“Bro, I could be a fucking psychologist, hell yeah I’m good,” she enthused.
A whole four months had passed since Chres and I had split and I was about to be 17 in like two days. My parents moved back in together, but I moved in with Saige. We shared a loft and she was actually really neat and super fun to be around. Me, her, and Tasia were the best of friends. I still talked to the boys of Mindless Behavior quite often, kinda like when we had just met. All of us were friends. But things were different with him. We didn’t talk to each other a lot, but when we did, there was an obvious tension between us. Not the bad kind, but the awkward kind. There was no way I could deny I was still extremely attracted to him, but I was too nervous to even think about approaching him that way. Every now and then, he would do something that made me smile and think of old times, but I’d usually go home and cry afterwards. Yeah, I was kinda a mess. I remember the first couple of weeks after we broke up, I cried about every thing that reminded me of him. Once I was eating yogurt and I just bursted into tears because it reminded me of the day we first kissed. It’s kind of embarrassing actually... Anyway, I ended up having resentment towards myself, thinking I probably made a dumb ass decision. To this day I still don’t know if it was the right thing to do.
Now, with the whole “I’m becoming independent” situation, I changed my whole demeanor. I started talking to Marcus again and I ate dinner at his house every other weekend. I tried to find some hobbies I enjoyed too. Singing was an absolute no, and so was dancing. I also sucked at drawing. However, I had a newfound love in figuring out ways to get curls without putting heat in my hair and I loved having a weekly Youtube video, ranting or talking about the most highly suggested topic. Of course, fashion was a yes because I kinda had no choice; I was a model for a living. Low key, I’m a nerd cause I loved Sudoku and reading, but not a lot of people knew about that. Since I wasn’t living with my mom, I didn’t wear makeup a lot and my hair was dyed in an ombre style. The color started as a dark brown and faded into a deep honey color. I loved it! I still ate as if I was a 400 pound man, but I had a weekly workout routine so I could stay fit. I guess you could say I began to love my job as a model.
“Ava! Let’s go, we’re gonna be late!” Saige called for me. We had a photo shoot that morning.
“Coming!” I yelled, slipping my feet into my comfy moccasins. I ran out of my room and towards the door where Saige was tapping her foot impatiently.
