Chapter 15

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It was dead quiet until Four called me back.

“Alright, take a seat,” Four said. “You aren't going to be moving around like you did during training. We've been working on a new serum that lets us see what's going on in your mind.”

“Sounds good,” I said.

“You know what you're doing,” he said. I felt the familiar pinch in my neck before everything went black.

My body was flat on a table with a bright light above me. Deep breath in for four seconds. Hold it for eight. Breath out for seven seconds. I don't know why but it seems to keep me calm. Uriah taught it to me after I fell asleep while we were hanging out and I had a bad dream.

There was a pinch in my arm, and I felt my chest start to tighten before I relaxed completely.

The room shifted so I was sitting up. The walls started moving in on me. Deep breath. I grabbed for the nail I knew was laying on the floor. This scene always ends the same way.

I managed to find it and jam it under the wall to stop the motion.

Next fear, Spiders. All I have to do is stay calm. Focus on your breathing. That's all there is to it.

I managed to stay calm somehow, and my surroundings changed to the Dauntless compound.

“Alex,” Eric said, dangling a gun in front of my face.

“Eric,” I said.

“Stay there and watch or you will be in trouble,” he said. He pointed the gun at the head of a child. I couldn't do it. I tackled Eric and the gun went off killing me instead.

“Uriah, what're you doing?” I asked. He was crying.

“We have to break up,” he said.

“Why?” I sobbed.

“Marcus came after me,” he said. “If I don't break up with you I'm going to die.”

“Uriah, I can't lose you,” I said.

“You'll really lose me if we stay together,” he said. I collapsed and started sobbing when I heard gunshots. I looked up just in time to see Uriah collapse in front of me with Marcus standing over him.

“Alexander,” Marcus's voice rang in my ears. We were back in our house in Abnegation and he was circling me like he used to when he beat me.

“This is for your own good,” he said. His belt came down across my back and I immediately felt my skin split and start to bleed through my shirt. His belt landed on my back again.

I woke up in a cold sweat.

“You did great. Ten minutes one of the best times I've ever seen. Uriah is in your dorm waiting for you,” Four said.

“Thanks,” I said, wiping my face. “Can I go out the back way?”

“Yeah, c'mon,” he said, leading me out the back door and to my dorm.

“Uriah,” I said, collapsing into his arms.

“Come here. It was just a simulation,” he said, rubbing my back.

“He made you break up with me. Then he killed you right in front of my eyes,” I said between sobs.

“Shhh, baby, it's just a simulation. They just wanna see your reaction. Shhh, baby,” he said.

“I-I know,” I mumbled. “What about you?” I asked, wiping my eyes dry. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I'm just happy you're okay.”

“Thanks, for everything, Uriah,” I said.

“I'd do anything for you babe,” he said. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Uriah,” I said. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. Electricity coursed through my veins as he moved as close as he could get to me.

When we finally pulled apart, I had to take several deep breaths in order to steady myself. I'd never kissed anyone before, but I can't imagine it gets much better than that.

We spent all afternoon cuddling and remind each other that we were okay and the test was just a simulation. That night dinner was fairly quiet. Everyone was worried about placement and Family day.

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