Chapter 29

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We checked in at the hotel we were staying at, 1 o'clock. It wasn't fancy, but it was nice. Our rooms were all on the 5th floor. My room is in between Tiffany and Asmaa's rooms. My room had a mini fridge with a counter. A bathroom with two sinks. And two beds separated by a bed side table. But my favorite was the view, I could see the ocean from the balcony. I love the sound of the waves it's so soothing. I love hearing it, especially when I'm going to sleep. I've only been close to the ocean once before, when I was twelve. When I was there I saw a lesbian couple holding hands walking down the beach. They looked so happy together. I remember thinking, "That's what I want."

I knew I didn't like boys at that time. While other girls my age were going boy crazy, I was crushing on the girls instead. I hated myself for it. In church, my pastor had gone over that topic multiple times. Talking about how homosexuality was shameful, disgusting, and how it was the devil's doing. That gays were children of the devil. My parents couldn't agree more. While I admired the lesbian couple, my parents were disgusted by them. But instead of feeling shame and guilt like I usually did, I felt hope, that if those to women can find happiness and love surrounded by all this hate. Then maybe I can too.

My father to me, "I don't want you associating with those kind of people. They're mentally ill, and will put those sick ideas into your head. It's disgusting, and when you're older, you'll understand what I mean."

I still don't understand, I don't want to understand. I understand that they're ignorant, intolerant, bigots, that's what I understand.

I'm mad at them. I love them but I'm mad at them.

But then again if it weren't for them I wouldn't have ended up at this great place. Full of people I love like Quinn, and Asmaa, and... Ti-n-y...

And they're all here with me for the interview. To be honest, I'm a nervous wreck I'm about to be on national TV. My parents are going to be watching. Some kids from school might see this. Random people l will meet in the future, might watch this.

I don't know, it's just weird to think about.

Quinn is more nervous than I am, and she's not even going up on stage.

"What are we supposed to wear? You can't wear that! It's too casual. The whole world is about to look at you and you want to wear a hoodie and leggings?"

"You're adorable." I kissed her on the lips, making her shut up for 3 seconds.

"Devin, how can you be so calm? What if you say the wrong thing? And wearing that," she looks me up and down, "Shows you don't care, because you didn't put any effort into it. I'm not girly, I don't care about fashion. I just care about how they will interpret your attire."

I get what she means. This interview will be seen by millions of people and we are representing our camp. A camp that many, many kids depend on and love dearly. We can't risk giving people the wrong image. We have to put in our best foot forward.

I kinda just walk out of the room with out saying a word. She gives me a look but decides to follow me. I knocked on head counsellor Dean's door, and give him my idea. He genuinely smiles at me and 2 minutes later I get a notification in my phone saying, "We're leaving in 5 get ready we're going shopping."

I'm back stage nervously picking out my very short nails. They're usually long and beautiful, but I've been having to keep them short for a while now. If you know what I mean. Wink. Wink. ( ;

I was wearing a burgundy off the shoulder, layered, short dress. Quinn picked it out actually, and she paid for it too, despite my objections.

Barbara Moore is currently on stage doing her intro to her live audience. The more she talks the closer she gets to calling us out on stage.

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