Try Again: Shawn Mendes ✔️

62

Shawn Mendes

"Just-" I take Athena's bag from her as we enter the condo. "Just go to bed, in my room. The bed in the spare room is broken. You see Brian slept over and he had brought a girl around-"

"I'm going" she chuckles tiredly. I nod sheepishly knowing I was rambling.

"All of our stuff should be here tomorrow" I tell her following her. I was surprised at the fact she wasn't objecting from sleeping in my bed.

"Hmm" She replies lazily. She takes her shoes off and slips her cardigan off, I watch as she just gets in my bed, pulling the covers over her body.

"You okay?" I ask crouching down in front of her. She looks up at me with her big brown eyes. I was so tempted to just kiss her but I knew it would probably result in her slapping me or something and I do not want that again.

"I'm fine" she nods. She looked so adorable, her hair in a messy low bun, eyes droopy and tired and her lips slightly plump and pink.

"I know this is hard on you Athena and you can talk to me about it. I'm your family now and I'm here for you. I care about you so much" I tell her. "I know" she smiles gently.

I reciprocate the smile with a small sigh. "Get in bed, I'm so tired" she says softly, her eyes fluttering.

Instead of objecting which I should've done, I should've slept on the sofa but I didn't, I followed my stupid heart knowing full well she doesn't want me like how I want her. I get in beside her, keeping my distance.

I look up at ceiling with my hands behind my head.

There had to be a point to all of this. There had to be a reason why she's here next to me sleeping whilst she carries our baby and not in New York.

I'm willing to try again until she tells me to stop. The minute she admits she doesn't love me, I'll stop. I promise myself and soon fall asleep.
-

"Shawn!" I hear Athena shout. I rush into the living room to see her gorgeous smile on her lips as she looks down at her tummy.

"Come here, watch" she tells me. I go down in front of her and she gives me one of her earphones.

I grin at her hearing he familiar tune of my song; Queen.

"Wait are you ready?" She turns it all the way up taking the earphones out and she puts her phone on her bump.

"Put your hand here" she shows me. I put my hand on her stomach feeling the kicks, they were fast pokes, almost trying to go along with the beat.

"Crazy right?" She says with giggle. She changes the song to put on Mutual.

"He loves this one" Athena grins. "It's like he's dancing" She says making my heart go crazy.

I wanted to know if we were mutual. Did she feel the same about me? Too bad I was too scared to ask her.

"I'm glad he likes my music" I smile sitting beside her. She looks up at me turning the music down.

"When are we going house hunting? We can't just leave those boxes laying around" she says. I look around sighing at the several boxes.

"I'll ask Andrew to find something for tomorrow" I tell her reassuringly. "What kinda house do you want?" I ask her.

Her face lights up and I can see she already has a clear plan.

"Maybe four bedrooms, a big kitchen over looking the garden, open plan obviously so we can see him all the time. Nice modern living room but with oak furniture. I want a big garden so I can play with him and you can too. White fencing around the house separating us from the trees, like really big trees. Oh and a pool" She finishes, her eyes twinkling and lips in a tight smile.

"I'll find it for you" I nod, I look down and slowly slip my fingers into hers. She gives me a warm look. "Anything else, princess?" I ask her with a slight smirk. She moves her hand away from mine shaking her head.

"All good... oh maybe we could get one of those bedside crib things" she says excitedly grabbing her phone. "What are those?" I ask her.

"I'm showing you. Scoot up" she says. I move closer to her and put a hand on her bump rubbing gently as she shows me.

"And look, I found the most cutest little coat, I know it's a bit much for a baby but he's gonna be a winter baby" she says. "It's cute, I like those boots" I say clicking on them. I lock my eyes on the screen and suddenly a message pops up from some Kendrick guy. Reading that they should meet up.

She swipes it away but another pops up. You're in Canada? Wow. Meet me soon for some lunch.

I move away slowly and I hear her sigh.

I didn't know how to feel. Was she talking to other people?

"He's my friend" Athena says. "I'm sure" I mumble putting the tv on.

"He is. You can come tomorrow if you want" she says softly. "I'm good. Have fun on your date" I say harshly.

"Shawn-"

"No don't. It's not like we're having a baby together, about to buy a home, live together and we're engaged. No big deal"

Okay I was agitated, just the slightest bit annoyed.

"Shawn. He's my friend. Like really, he's Erica's cousin" she says grabbing the remote to turn the volume down.

"Okay" I mumble. "Why don't you believe me? I wouldn't put anything between us and the baby. I'm not looking to get with anyone, everything I want is here" she says.

"Obviously not. We're not together" I say under my breath. "I know that idiot. I'm telling you he's no one. He's my friend, who cares for me. I'm not dating anyone, I'm not speaking with anyone, I'm not looking for anything. Get your head out of your ass Shawn. I don't know how many times I have to say this but this baby is my only priority right now" I could tell she was annoyed and boy was I getting an earful.

She gets up a little quick and looses balance. I get up quickly grabbing her waist. Her face inches from mine.

"Get off me" she mumbles looking away. God I wished she would just let me hold her.

"Shawn-"

"Yeah I'm letting go" I move her away and sit down. "I'm going to bed" She says walking away.

I mentally hit myself. I know I'm jealous, I love her. I love her so much and I can't say anything, I can't get anything back, I can't physically or emotionally show that I'm in love with her.