Falling - 𝒥𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃𝑜

Chapter 12: The Letters

Jess' POV - 3 years before

'Why aren't you doing anything? Get out of bed and go to school!' My mother seems to yell all the time. I can't handle her. It has been worse enough that Madeline has left New York to live in a crappy town. My mother's babbling keeps running through my head. She can leave me too, finally find some piece.

I get up, take some clothes and climb out of the window. Even after two weeks I hope that in a magical way Madelaine will come back. Probably she has already forgotten about me either way.

I climb up the stairs to her bedroom window, but when I look through it everything is abandoned. I sit there for a while, staring at the place we used to read, where we used to dance. It has all been too beautiful.

On my way to school I run across the street to send her a letter. We have been doing this for a few days and it seems to work. I gave her my copy of Wuthering Heights and if I have to believe her, she finished it in only one night. Her new school seems fine although she has to work hard. She is building a new career and I am here, still lost.

Before I can put the letter in the mailbox someone grabs it out of my hands, making me curse immediately.

'Easy Mariano', Matt laughs right in my face. His one hand around the letter, the other one filled with a joint. 'Give it back', I hiss at him.

'What did that girl do to you Mariano? Aren't we friends anymore?' He asks sheepishly before looking at the address on the envelope.

'Stars Hollow? What a shitty name is that? Are you sure she isn't fooling you?' Matt mocks me when I try to get the letter back. With his joint he touches the paper, making it catch fire.

'Are you stupid!' I yell before taking him by his collar. 'There you are', he notices completely stoned. 'Jess is himself again!' A few old friends walk towards us and I release Matt quickly. Watching my letter burn on the ground.

'Get away from me!' I hiss when I walk past the school. Not planning on going today. Life has been a hell since Madelaine is gone. Never in my life I could've imagined that I would miss a girl like her, not even to talk about the fact that I loved her. I shouldn't call her anymore, I shouldn't write letters.

She has to forget me and I have to forget her. Otherwise we both will get hurt.

Today : three years later (present)

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling when my cigarette fills the room with smoke. I have to open a window but don't bother that much.

'Jess!' My mother yells before opening my door in a rush. 'Jeez!' I sigh when she holds the phone in her hands. 'When were you going to tell me your uncle has called?' She asks, raising an eyebrow.

'Uncle?'

'Luke! Luke Danes, you know who'. I sit up straight, not at all interested in what she has to tell me.

'I called him back but a girl picked up the phone. After that he called me back and we decided something', she points the phone towards me as if she wants to threaten me with something.

'Look, I should prepare for school since it starts in half an hour and Matt is picking me up,' I mock her, knowing that we won't go to school.

'You won't go back to that school, Jess. I am sending you to Stars Hollow to live with Luke. Maybe then you'll find your respect back!'

'You can't send me away!' I jump of my bed. Throwing everything on it against the wall. 'I can't handle you!' She catches back. 'You are seventeen and have nothing!'

'Whose fault is that!' My anger raises again when I take the phone out of her hands and throw it on the floor. My mother sighs deep before looking up again in my furious eyes.

'Luke will handle you', she mumbles before walking into the hall. 'You always run back to him. You are horrible!' I yell one last time but she doesn't care. She can't send me away. I have a life here.

In a rush I walk over to my desk, desperate to find another cigarette when I open the drawer and find some old envelops. I sit down, sighing when I open the most recent one of two years ago, Madelaine's handwriting all over it.

I'm not sure what has happened. I thought we belonged together Jess. I guess you are not writing back because you don't want me anymore. I won't bother you from now on. I'm not mad only confused.

That night you told me you loved me, I thought I could handle everything. I guess I couldn't. I'm sorry Jess. Living here all by myself asks a lot of patience and the only thing I need is your support. I think that one day I'll find a way not to think about you anymore, even though that is not what I want... you clearly do.

Madelaine

I throw the paper back on my desk, ignoring every word of it. She hasn't loved me. Why would someone love a person like me?