Falling - 𝒥𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃𝑜

Chapter 18: She Makes Me Feel This

Jess' POV

Luke slams the door of the apartment behind him, making clear he's about to give me another life lesson. He did the same a week ago. Telling me that I should leave Lorelai's daughter, Rory, alone because she has a boyfriend.

I'm not quite interested in Rory. Yes, she is smart and I don't hate her but something is missing. Something I used to have. I sit down at the kitchen table, glaring at Luke who walks from one side of the room to the other. It is rather amusing watching him this nervous.

'You won't come near her. Do you hear me?' He says loud. I sigh deep, leaning in my chair when I stare in front of me. 'If this is again about Rory than..'

'Madelaine, Jess! It is about Madelaine', he sighs. I stand up in confusion, spreading my arms when I don't understand him.

'Madelaine?' I ask loud. 'I know your little history with her. I also know that she loved you. You are not going to ruin that girl again', he warns me, pointing his finger towards me.

'Ruin her again? Honestly, we have been avoiding each other ever since I've arrived!' I take my coat from the chair, trying to walk outside but he stands against the door, not letting me.

'And by the way, it was very nice to warn me that she still works here. I was expecting to see her in town but not at the place I live', I add annoyed. Whatever has happened between Madelaine and I seems to have a bigger influence on my life than I thought.

Once she left New York an empty place had overtaken my life. I hadn't found a better way than to fill it with smoking and drinking. I couldn't help it. She simply shouldn't have left.

'If it pleases you I forgot to inform the both of you', Luke says calmer. 'Yeah, she seems pretty glad I am back', I answer sarcastic. 'She was about to run away', I add, taking the doorknob when he grabs his hand around my arm.

'I mean it Jess, don't ruin her. She has a future to focus on and so do you. I saw the way you looked at her while holding that box', he raises an eyebrow before letting me go. I look at him one last time before opening the door and walk downstairs.

I can do whatever I want. This is also my town from now on. It won't do any harm to see her.

(time skip)

Outside, I keep my distance from the dance school when I see Madelaine with a group of people in it. All of them looking more nervous than you would expect. The town is already dark, some lanterns light up the street.

Madelaine goes standing next to the table where Rory lays on, an angry blond girl screaming at them. I walk a little closer, a boy running past me when he enters the dance school, his face quit amused.

'You have no respect at all!' The blond girl screams and I start laughing at the expression on Madelaine's face. Finally there is someone she seems to be afraid of.

I keep watching them until one of them leaves and walk in the direction of her home, doubting my decision after having that talk with Luke. I shouldn't listen to him. Whatever is going on between me and Madelaine is our business.

I stop at the gas station, lighting a cigarette when only five minutes later she walks by. Her hair in a low ponytail, her casual outfit as usual. She used to wear my sweaters back in New York, I remember when she pulls hers closer to her. Protecting herself from the cold evening.

Her gaze follows my direction, for one second I see a smile appearing on her face in the light of the street lamps. But she repairs herself quickly and the moment of joy in my stomach disappears and takes place for nerves when she walks over to me.

'Are you always this late on the streets?' She asks, her usual sarcastic tone echoing through the abandoned street. I look down, not able to look her in the eyes when I think of what I should say. Nothing makes sense. Nothing about this girl makes sense.

'Could say the same about you', I mumble and immediately regret it when she looks at the ground, almost uncomfortable.

I have to get away from her, nothing is ever turning alright when we are together. And she knows it also. But then why is it so hard to leave her?