Falling - 𝒥𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃𝑜

Chapter 45: California

Jess' POV

My father came by.

My actual father came all the way from California, trying to find his son after seventeen years. I don't know what to think of this. The last time I have seen him before he left he gave me his address, telling me I could always visit him.

Turns out even though he hasn't a real family, he still is happy. Madelaine and I barely have spoken after she has left, leaving me behind with this feeling of guilt. She is alone in Paris, her father being the only person she knows and I should support her. Still I'm here at Luke's, working again.

There is only one thing I worry about aside from Madelaine at this point, and that is the conversation my school counsellor had with me a few days ago. Telling me I probably wouldn't graduate high school. There is no way my grades are that bad.

Yes, I am working at Wall-mart a lot, sometimes even during schooldays. But I haven't missed that much. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

'We have to talk,' Luke urges when the last customers leave us and I close the door, looking at him in the reflexion of the glass. 'Can't we do that tomorrow? I'm supposed to call Madelaine,' I lie and try to get past him. He is smart enough.

'Jess, this is important. I'm not sure if your school counsellor is on drugs but he called me and told me you won't graduate?' His eyes tell me everything. He is honestly hoping the school counsellor is making a joke, maybe even on drugs. I sigh and get my hand through my hair, not sure what to tell him.

'Are you serious!' He raises his voice and throws his towel on the ground, his face getting a little red. 'I still have time! Of course I will graduate!' I'm not even convinced by those words.

'You can't! They told me you have to do this year over and you will, mark my words,' he hisses. 'I'm not doing my year over! I'll work full time, I don't have a problem with that.'

Luke leans against the counter, sinking in my problems and I couldn't help him. 'We had an agreement, Jess,' he reminds me. I don't answer, staring at him blankly. I can't say anything to make this right again.

'You would stay here and graduate, that was the only condition and still you wasted it. The only way you are staying here is by doing your year over, otherwise I send you back to Liz.' After that he walks upstairs and I follow him into the apartment, my anger raising up again.

'You can't send me back to her! She will only send me here again!'

'I did everything to protect you! Maybe she was right, maybe you are indeed the problem!' The words escape his mouth before even realizing, regretting his decision immediately. 'Jess, I -'

'No, forget it. I'll be gone by tomorrow morning,' I hiss at him before closing the door. That evening I wander around the streets, doing nothing but regretting my own decisions. My whole life I have been the problem, that is how I am raised. I can't help anyone.

I sit down on the gazebo, remembering the time I found Madelaine in the grass, completely frozen. Maybe I could've done more to help her, or maybe not. Doubting myself isn't the best thing to do.

In my pocket, I feel my phone vibrating, Madelaine's name on the screen. I put it back without answering only to feel it another time, her name on the screen again. I take a deep breath before answering, making sure my voice won't show any emotion. She has her own troubles.

'Hi' I say soft.

'Hi. Look I'm sorry I couldn't call back earlier. Everything here is a little busy,' she says in one long breath. I smile by hearing her voice, hating myself for doing this.

'How is your mother?' I ask instead of saying something stupid, a deep sigh on the other side of the line. 'Not good. I mean, one day she feels alive and the other she looks almost -' She doesn't finish the sentence, I could hear the hurt.

'How is Stars Hollow?' She asks after a moment to change the subject. I look around me at the dark streets, seeing the light in Luke's apartment. I can't go back.

'Calm,' I say shortly. 'Calm? I tried calling you at Luke's but he told me you were gone,' she says soft. 'He sounded upset.'

'That is not my problem,' I sigh. 'Jess are you in trouble?' She asks out of nowhere, the panic hearable. 'I'm fine,' I promise her.

'Good, because when I come back I need you.' The words keep crossing my mind and I can't answer her, barely understanding the meaning. 'You will be there, won't you?' The hope, the desperation in her voice, the pain. It is all too much.

'I will,' I lie to her. After we hang up I lookback at the window of Luke's bedroom, the light out. I take a small paper outof my pocket, the address of my father