My first exams of the year have been finished and I can't explain how relieved I am. I'm sure most of them went well, although I worry a little about Chemistry. Other years Rory would help me studying, but this year I couldn't bring up to ask her.
In some way it hurts me too much. I have seen her a lot around town with Jess lately. I'm not even sure if she and Dean are still together. I would be amazed if he even knew about them hanging out.
Still, gossip is a big deal in Stars Hollow, there are no secrets. Maybe I have made a mistake by putting myself in the shadow, maybe I had to fight more for Jess. But would that actually help? He made it clear he doesn't need a thing from me and I don't want to be that pathetic girl.
After I said goodbye to Brad and he gave me a book for Christmas, I went back home with the bus, not much caring Rory sits only two seats away. The difference between Hartford and Stars Hollow is clearly visible.
In Hartford, most of the people have decorated their homes with elegant decorations. Once you arrive in Stars Hollow, the whole town square is lit up by random animal figures and huge Christmas trees.
A smile appears on my face immediately when I see that Taylor has decorated the gazebo with only white lights. It almost looks like a fairy tale.
The bus stops across from Luke's and the second I look inside I see Jess gesturing in anger towards Luke. I step of the bus and walk towards the window, seeing Jess walks upstairs in frustration. I hate to see both of them this way.
Once Luke sees me standing, his frown disappears and a soft smile takes place. With only one gesture I walk out of the cold and inside, hearing the familiar sound of the bell.
'Are your exams finished?' He asks when I take place behind the counter. In some way I feel incredibly relieved to be here again, Jess or no Jess. Luke's has always been a part of my home and I can't deny that.
'I finished my last one today, next week I'll know the results', I answer when he gives me free coffee. 'I'm sure you did a great job', he assures me. I smile briefly at him, not sure what to tell him furthermore.
After a long silence he turns to the storage room and comes back with something packed in Christmas paper. I raise an eyebrow, knowing that even Luke won't buy someone a gift for Christmas. I guess Jess is lucky.
That is the moment I notice the diner actually has Christmas decorations for the first time in years. 'Let me guess, Lorelai gave you the Christmas spirit?' I ask jokingly and take another sip of my coffee.
'She is good in what she does', he agrees and hands me the package. I look questionable at him for a second, not knowing if I should take it.
'I wanted to give you a little something because you work so hard for everything', he mumbles. I put down my coffee and take the package. 'But Luke, Christmas is a week away and I can't possibly -'
'It is all yours', he smiles shortly before leaving me again to serve another customer. That moment Jess walks downstairs and sees me behind the counter. His gaze is at me for a moment until he decides whether to ignore me or talk to me.
'A gift from uncle Luke', he notices when he walks over to me. For one second I have no clue what to tell him, I am as stunned as he is.
'Where have you been?' he adds. 'Since when do you care?' I ask instead of answering. If he is playing hard to get, I can do the same. For one moment he smiles amused but he repairs himself quickly.
'You know Madelaine, for one moment I was so surprised when I read in that newspaper that you were madly in love with me. I mean, you wouldn't leave you greatest love alone, right?' His eyes pierce mine and I can feel my cheeks turning red. There is no way he has read our school newspaper, unless .... Rory.
'Paris wrote that story without knowing anything about the situation', I finally answer, but not as confident as I want. He leans a little towards me, making sure not everyone in the diner can hear our little conversation. I would be lying if I told you that I wasn't scared.
'Have you ever been in love with me?' Jess asks after a moment of silence. I open my mouth to answer him but realize how stupid this conversation actually is. I stand up to take my backpack and Luke's gift, shaking my head in disbelief.
'If you honestly doubt I ever loved you, I wonder if you were even with me those months in New York', I say, feeling the tears in my eyes. Jess also hears the shaky tone in my voice and stands up straight again when Luke walks behind the counter. Acting like nothing has happened.
Luke gives both of us a look, the anger appearing on his face when he sees mine. I can literally feel how bad I must look right now.
'Tell me Jess, have you ever loved me? Because all you have been doing since I'm back is irritating me', I say before I turn to the door. The bell rings when I walk out, and once I'm a few meters further I can hear it ring another time, footsteps approaching me quickly.
I turn around to see Luke instead of Jess, his gaze concerned when he sees the tears in my eyes. 'I hadn't even the chance to thank you', I realise when I hold his gift. With a compassionate look he opens his arms and I fall in them. I can't care less about hugging my boss, he is as much a father to me.
'He loves Rory', I mumble. The worst thing is, that Luke doesn't even deny it. Jess does love Rory and I have lost the love of someone I have been waiting for, three years.
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Falling - 𝒥𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃𝑜
Fanfiction"I love him", I admit for the first time. Madelaine Scott is a professional dancer when she meets Jess Mariano one night on the fire escape from their building. By talking to him she soon enough finds out that the career she is building, has nothing...
