Falling - 𝒥𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃𝑜

Chapter 48: When We Kiss

Never in my life have I felt scared of a beeping sound. That was until the moment it didn't beep anymore and the sharp pain of one long tone filled the whole room. She is death.

I can't even remember how I got here. All the streets, the people, the hospital .... it is all one blur before my eyes. I saw her laying in her bed, my father on his knees, the nurse trying to comfort him. I fell down myself, my dress from the performance soaked by the rain.

The goosebumps all over my body, the nausea making me vomit for a moment. I didn't have control over myself. I couldn't take care of myself.

We sit there for a while, my father and I, not saying a word. My mother not breathing anymore. I can't bring up any emotion, my whole life has filled with emptiness. A feeling I didn't know was there.

'You'll have to leave,' a nurse says after half an hour. My father doesn't look up at her, his eyes tell me enough. I slowly stand up, my legs shaking when I walk out of the room. The tears filling my eyes again. I can't bring up to look at her anymore. This life is unfair.

'Madelaine Scott,' the same little girl as a few weeks ago walks out of her room, followed by another woman. She has to be her mother. I walk passed her without looking a second time, the disgust in her voice only a second later. Telling her mother how disrespectful I am. Again, life is unfair.

Apparently the news of my attendance at the hospital has broken out and several people start to notice me with every step I take. I can't handle this another second.

'Is that her?' 'Madelaine Scott...' 'When did she came back?' 'She looks awful...' 'Madelaine...'

'Madelaine ...'

'What!' I yell, my face full of pain and I turn around, ready to fall again. My legs give up on me when I see Jess with a bouquet flowers in his hands, his eyes filled with worry. I sink on the floor and he catches me in time, not to hurt myself, the flowers falling instead.

In only a second the tears find their way again, streaming down my face like never before. I can't even speak. His warm breath against my hair when he holds me, the comfort I can find in his arms. What is he even doing here?

'What happened?' He whispers. I can feel the presence of several other people around us. All of them curious about my situation. I don't care.

'She ... She's dead,' I hiss in anger and he grabs me tighter, trying to calm me down. 'Come,' he says soft and holds me by my waist in order to bring me away from the curiosity. The emptiness approaching again.

'I ... I was ... dancing and now she is -'

'I saw you,' he keeps me quiet and together we sit down on a bench in a less crowded hallway. 'What?' I ask confused. Jess stares at me for a moment, holding up his hand to brush the tears from my face. It doesn't matter, they come back either way.

'I was ready to leave Stars Hollow and join my father in California. But then I realized I couldn't leave without saying goodbye.' I could hear the weakness in his voice, the guilt all over his face.

'Are you leaving me?' I whisper, hoping he wouldn't. He softly takes my hands in his, never have I seen him like this. This vulnerable 'Not if you want me to stay, Maddy.'

Maddy ... The nickname he gave me one night while we danced on the streets. Without thinking I fall in his arms, his hands on my back when I almost choke him with my hug. The comforting sounds he makes when I start shaking again, reality coming back in only one second. I need him. Especially now.

'Don't leave,' I beg him. Jess releases me softly, laying his hand on my right cheek. Our faces closer than before. Tears in his eyes.

'I won't.'

(time skip)

That evening my father doesn't come home and Jess stays with me. Making sure I won't do anything stupid. The shock of my mother's dead is still playing with my body and the whole evening I can't do anything but vomit. Jess holding up my hair. When did we came to this point?

'You have to sleep,' he urges for the second time. It is already morning and my father still hasn't come home, neither does he pick up his phone. Great example he his.

'I can't,' I say and stare out of my window, watching the Eiffel tower in the distance shine bright. Behind me I hear Jess crawl under the covers and when I turn around he sits there with a book in his hands, his white shirt fitting his slightly tanned skin.

'You can have my sweater,' he tries to convince me and I give in. How could I resist? The moment I crawl next to him he spreads his arm and I rest my head against his chest, watching the words in the book dance in front of me. My headache is horrible.

'You will stay here?' I ask carefully, a grimace playing on his face. 'I promise,' he whispers and kisses my forehead on the place it hurts the most. I smile up at him and he puts his book away, holding his second arm around my waist. Our heads against each other. This feeling ... It is all too familiar.

'Why did you came to my performance?' Our eyes meet for a moment, dreaming away as usual when he softly brushes my cheek with his fingers. Comfort.

'I grew up watching you on television and suddenly one night you crawl out of a window in New York only to meet me. I honestly started to believe that must have been fate.'

'I didn't know you watched me dance,' I admit, remembering he never mentioned that before.

'I must admit that I've always been your biggest fan,' he answers jokingly and we both laugh for a second. The flash of joy disappearing the moment I feel pain again. Mom. Tears fill my eyes again and Jess holds me tighter against him, resting his head on top of mine.

'Madelaine?' He asks after a moment. I nod softly, telling him I'm still awake. 'I love you,' he whispers.

'I love you,' I say without hesitating, looking him right in the eyes again. He lays his hand behind my neck, bringing our faces closer until our lips meet for the first time in years. Still the familiar feeling of him against me.

His soft kiss, the way he is passionate about these kind of things. Without realizing I lay on top of him in a few seconds, his warm hands around my waist when we lose ourselves in the moment.

Forgetting the outside of these walls.