Shine Bright Shirley

Chapter 38

Grace's POV:

Julia continues to hug me until I start to calm down.

"I-I don't want to see him." I repeat for what feels like the fifth time in the last 10 minutes and I'm sure Julia and John are probably getting sick of hearing me say it.

"Honey you don't need to worry, you don't need to ever see him if you don't want to." Julia reassures me.

"I'm sorry if this is all such an inconvenience for you both. I bet when you both thought you were going to be fostering a kid you never thought you'd get one with so much baggage." I say shamefully.

"Grace that's not the case at all, we love you like your our own." Julia responds as she looks at me with what I can only describe as worry.

"We don't think of you as an inconvenience at all, we want you to know that we are here for you no matter what happens." John  continues.

Just hearing John and Julia comfort me makes my heart swell. They honestly are the best people I could have for foster parents.

"Now I don't know about you but I know when I'm not feeling great a cup of hot chocolate always seems to make me feel better." Julia says which brings a small smile to my face.

"I do like hot chocolate." I mumble, as I continue to wipe my eyes.

"Well it's your lucky day because I was going to get myself some anyway." Julia says nudging her shoulder with mine. "I'll be back in five minutes honey." She says before getting up to leave to go to the canteen, leaving me and John to sit in comfortable silence.

John interrupts the brief silence as he clears his throat causing me to look towards him.

"You know Grace it's completely up to you. If you don't want to ever see him that's ok but if you do change your mind at any point and decide that you do want to give him a chance, we will be with you all the way." John says gently.

"He's not worth my time. He doesn't deserve a chance after what he did to my mother." I mutter. "But thank you.. for being so supportive I'm really glad to be staying with you guys, I haven't felt so at home since before my mom died." I tell John which brings a small smile to his face.

"Well I'm glad you feel that way and I know Julia would feel the same. I want you to know that we never aim to replace your mother but we only hope to make you feel welcome and apart of our family." He said lowly.

I flash him a smile in return. "Don't worry you could never replace my mother... she was one of a kind. She was the most positive person I have and probably will ever meet in my life." I say quietly, looking down a my hands. "You know what she said when she first found out that she had leukaemia." I whisper earning a small shrug from John. "S-she said that everything happens for a reason and that it was h-her time." I mumble, sighing at the feeling of the lump in my throat as I try to keep myself together.

I can't believe how much I'm telling John about my mom. I usually find it difficult to talk about her but somehow I feel unbelievably comfortable in John's presence.

"She sounds like one strong women, a trait that I can tell she passed on to you." He says but I know deep down I'm nothing like my mother. I'm not strong at all, physically or emotionally.

"I wish I was like her." I sigh. " If only she could see me now." I mumble.

"I'm sure she would be proud of you." John says offering a small smile.

I shake my head. "If she saw me now she would scold me for being so emotional. She raised me to be a strong independent women, she would even tell me to try to control my emotions because if people saw how weak I was then they would use that as an invitation to walk right over me." I say.

"I'm not going to sit here and say that she didn't have a good point because she did, but at the same time it's ok for you to show when your upset or angry about something. We're all human and we all have times when we get emotional, it's natural." John replies.

"Sometimes I just feel like I'm cursed." I barely whisper.

"How come?" John asks me curiously with an eyebrow raised.

"Something always happens to people who are close to me, first my mom getting diagnosed with leukaemia and now Matt going into a coma. It's too much of a coincidence." I mumble, my voice cracking slightly at the end.

"Aw Grace sweetheart, none of that is your fault. The world can be cruel and bad things can happen but that doesn't mean it's your fault." He says sympathetically. "And I hope your not loosing hope on Matthew, he will pull through you just need to stay positive."

"I know, I just can't help but think of the worst." I admit with a sad smile.

"That's completely normal. You know when I was a little boy my aunt died with leukaemia as well." He sighed and with one glance towards him I could already see how much it must have hurt him.

"Oh I'm so sorry." I say quietly.

Here I was whining about my problems not realising that John has went through the same thing.

"It's ok. It hurt a lot at the time because she basically raised me due to my parents working all the time and I used to think that it would never get any easier but it does, no matter how cliche that sounds." John says quietly.

"You know what your very wise John." I smile causing him to chuckle.

"Well you have to be when you get to my age." He replies with a shrug.

"I know I've said this before but I am truly thankful that I'm staying with you guys." I say softly earning a grin from John.

"And we are truly thankful that you are staying with us too." He says just as softly.

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Hey everyone I'm sorry for this chapter being a little short, It was originally going to be a lot longer but I decided to split it into two chapters since it felt more natural.

What's everyone's thoughts so far?

I have around 6-7 chapters left of this story which is crazy 😩

~Lou :)