Lone Wolf || bxb

Chapter 35

Finn's wolf started walking with blood dripping down his mouth. My brother's blood.

My state of shock combined with the wolfsbane coursing through my veins meant that I couldn't move, and I was finding it very difficult to form words. I don't even know what I could say anyway. What did you say when you just watched your brother be killed, even if you gave it the okay?

I watched as Finn went up to a little stream nearby and wash his face in the water of all the blood that covered his face and his fur. Then, he stalked back to my whereabouts and when he reached me, he whined and licked my face with his now clean tongue. He tried to stick his head under my arm, and I let him, with us lying there for a moment in each other's presence again. As much as there was sadness and grief coursing through me now, his presence helped me find a moment of peace and calm, for which I was grateful.

When Finn decided it was time to leave, he moved away from me and shifted back into his human form. We were both completely silent with us hardly knowing what to say to each other but then my mate crouched down on his knees in front of me and stroked my hair behind my ear and placed his forehead against my own.

"I'm sorry, for everything," he told me. "Let's get you home my love." I could only manage a nod right now but then I realised he was naked, and maybe it was because of the jealousy that came accompanied with a mate bond, but I told him to take my underwear and put it on. My boxers were more likely to fit him than my cargos, and I didn't want anyone to see him naked when we went back.

He obliged with what I said and when he was covered, and had put my cargos back on me, he picked me up in his arms bridal style and began to walk us through the forest and back to our home. I couldn't help but think of when he carried me up the stairs when we first met, and I was too injured to walk up them myself.

He carried me in silence for a while as he made his way back through the woods. I wondered if he had even told anyone that he left or if he came after me as soon as he saw my blood. From wherever I had stopped my bleeding he must have just followed my scent because by then hopefully the scent of the wolfsbane had been carried away by the wind. However he did it, he had found me just like I knew he would.

"Thank you," I whispered into his neck as the full scale of everything that happened finally started to sink in properly and overwhelm me. My tears started flowing again as I cried into his shoulder and I wished that this was all a terrible, horrible nightmare. I wish I could have just woken up in my parents' house in my bed, my whole family alive, and then met Finn a couple years down the line in better circumstances so that none of this had to happen.

"Don't thank me for anything. I should have been there earlier; I was meant to have been back home with you but instead I left you alone. And...and I just killed your brother. He was your brother, wasn't he? Goddess," he said as he stopped and stood still for a second. I took my head away from his neck to look at his face to see him looking into the distance with a sad contemplative look on his face. "How can you even stand to touch me right now?"

"I let you, Finn. I told you that you could. I'm not upset or mad at you for anything," I said sniffing. "You saved me. Thank you. I will always thank you for that. And if you didn't kill him, he would have killed you and...a...and I would rather you live than him."

He looked at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen him behold as he tried to figure out what to say. I know that he would be feeling quite upset too, especially with his depression, so I hoped that I could be there to comfort him, so he didn't do anything bad, but I desperately needed his comfort too because I was also in a very vulnerable place.

"I...can I, may I," he said stumbling over his words. "Is it okay if I kiss you? Would you be mad?"

"I want a kiss," I said with a frown as another tear escaped my eyes. He brought his lips down to mine hesitantly and I thought he would kiss me on the lips but then he pulled back looking ashamed and kissed me on the forehead. "Finn..."

"Why don't you try to rest. Sleep will help. I'll get us back to the pack as quickly as I can," he replied before I could say anything else. He tucked me back in under his chin and I placed a kiss at his throat, hoping little signs of affection would help with his obvious anxiety about how I must he feeling towards him after what he had done. But I was certain of myself that my feelings for him had not changed in the slightest.

I ended up falling asleep for a little while like he wanted me too. The beat of his heart soothed me into a soundless slumber where I didn't even dream. A little while later I woke up though and I could see familiar trees starting to surround me. The Navarre pack was still extremely large, but I started to recognise certain areas of it that I may have gone past before with Finn when we went on our runs.

"Finn, I don't understand what happened. Do you think there was a traitor?" I asked when he hadn't said anything even though he knew I was awake again now. I didn't know if Luca had constructed an organised attack or if it was all an unfortunate bout of luck on his behalf.

"We're not sure love. From the sporadic way your brother and a few of his men attacked they basically just shot everyone they saw with those darts and Luca must have just gotten lucky with you being outside, though I don't doubt he would have shot every single person in the pack to find you, wherever you were. I still should have been there with you though," he said with a sigh. "Alpha Brudus and Maeve and my dad and Beta King are all questioning anyone that could be suspicious though just in case there is a traitor."

I nodded my head and contemplated everything that happened trying to figure out if there was any way that Luca could have gotten to me through detailed planning. From what I was aware though, the pack hadn't accepted any new members lately, except from me, because I'm sure Finn would have told me if they had. From how I'd always seen the pack members act around their Alpha and the other commanders, they seemed to have a lot of respect and love for their leaders as well as each other, so I couldn't see anyone betraying the pack like that just to get rid of me for whatever reason.

"Weylyn," Finn called softly, dragging me out of my intense thinking. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you; I swear I'll spend the rest of my life atoning for the disgrace of a mate I've been."

"Disgrace of a mate?" I questioned in astonishment. My poor baby, I didn't want to ever hear him call himself something like that when it was so far from the truth. "You're the best mate I could have ever asked for, more than I could have asked for. You saved me and you take care of me and you shower me in love and..." I trailed off before he interrupted.

"And I just killed your brother."

"I let you. He really died a long time ago anyway," I saw with a sniff. "There was nothing left of my brother in that man anymore and I meant it when I said I would rather you live than him. You're all that I have now, Finn," I confessed as I thought about everything and everyone that I had lost. "You're all that I have, and I need you to try and make yourself believe that because I told you that you could kill him and if you start to hate yourself because of this then I will never forgive myself for putting you in this situation."

"This is so stupid. Do you even hear how this all sounds? You're going through grief because of something I did and now you're having to comfort me," he said with dejection clear in his tone.

"Hey," I said as I stroked the little stubble that was growing on his face which he didn't shave off this morning. "I told you this once before, that maybe we're meant to comfort each other. And this grief isn't for the man that you killed, this grief is for the boy, the older brother, that I lost the moment I lost my parents too. The man who died today was the man who hurt me in despicable way, who almost took me back to a soul-destroying nature of existing, who killed Lucien and who almost killed you."

"Wait he killed Lucien?"

"Did I not tell you that's how he died?" He shook his head in a no gesture and then quickly pulled me closer to him. "I couldn't lose you too," I whispered beside his ear. "I wouldn't want to live if I did."

"We better comfort each other then, just like you said," he whispered back.

~~~~~~~~~

Yay they get to go home now but they're both so upset :(

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