Retrocognition

22 | foreign

"What's bothering you?" Jacob deadpans.

I turn to glance at him, hugging the blanket wrapped around my figure to my body tightly. Jacob and I have been in his dorm since football practice ended, which has somewhat helped to calm the storm of a mood I was in earlier. Though I've been trying hard to hide the remnants of the bitterness I've been feeling since my argument with Ivy earlier, Jacob's question only points out the fact that I'm not very good at blocking my emotions from him.

"Nothing," I chirp. I don't feel like bringing up the reason behind my standoffishness. Especially considering the reason Ivy and I were fighting in the first place was over the very boy next to me.

Jacob shoots me a get real glance. "Come on, Blythe," he murmurs. "I can tell you're upset. Talk to me about it. That's what I'm here for."

Jacob makes it nearly impossible for me not to open up to him. My resistance gives way beneath the arm he wraps around my shoulders, hugging me into his side. When he gazes down at me with those knowing brown eyes of his, I feel as if I turn into a puddle of mush.

"It's my friends," I admit with a sigh. "We got into a little argument earlier. It's no big deal."

"Evidently, it is," Jacob disagrees. "I mean, you seem pretty put off by it. You can talk to me, Blythe. I can't help you feel better if you don't let me in."

I bite down hard on my bottom lip. The relationship I have found with Jacob is foreign to me. Breaking down my walls for someone else doesn't necessarily come easily to me, which may be because I have very little practice when it comes to doing so. Since high school, Ivy, Ben, and I have been part of our own tight-knit circle that never felt as if it needed anyone else. On top of this, I have zero experience when it comes to dating.

"The three of us have been close since we started high school," I tell Jacob. The words feel weird to say out loud. I'm not used to having to explain the intricacies of my life to another person. "We've known each other so long it's like we already know everything about each other. I don't know . . . I guess it's just weird for them. Us, I mean. Like my relationship with you. Maybe because they haven't met you? They just worry about me. But I don't feel like I need to be worried about? It's caused a . . . rift."

Jacob raises his eyebrows as I speak. I worry that I've somehow offended him, though quickly rid myself of the thought. After all, he's the one who wanted to know what was bothering me.

"Oh," he says after a moment, shifting in his spot next to me. I sense that I have seemed to make him somewhat uncomfortable. I rush to reassure him that he has done nothing wrong.

"It's not a big deal," I mumble. "They just want to know who I'm going out with. I'd say that's pretty normal. I guess I can't really be too upset about it."

"No, I get it," Jacob assures me. "You guys are close and they don't know me. I'd be cautious if I were in that position, too."

I nod, sitting up in order to pull my knees to my chest. For some reason, this conversation topic makes me uncomfortable. It's somewhat weird to be talking to Jacob about my friends. I conclude that this is because my relationship with Jacob has been kept very separate from the rest of my life since we started dating. I still have yet to tell my family about him. It seems like the only person in my life who rotates in the same circles as Jacob is Kehlani.

"I want to meet them," Jacob suddenly retorts. "Your friends, I mean. If that would be okay with you, of course. The more serious we get, the more I want to be part of your life. You've met most of my friends, after all. And they all love you."

"Really?" I question softly.

Jacob chuckles. "Oh, yeah. The guys are mind blown that you—"

"Not your friends, stupid," I tease, shoving Jacob as I cut him a smile. "I meant what you said about meeting mine. You mean that?"

"Of course," Jacob says gently. "Whenever you're ready, that is. Like I said, I want to be as much a part of your life as you've become in mine. I really like you, Blythe."

"Good," I murmur. "Because I really like you too."

My smile only widens as Jacob shoots me one of his own. Suddenly, the weight of the argument I had with Ivy earlier in the day is released from my shoulders. I don't know how Jacob manages to do that; to make me feel so at ease with nothing but a gaze and a smile.

He wraps his arms around my frame once again, holding me as I lay my head against his chest. Soon, my eyelids begin to feel heavy, overtaken by drowsiness. I drift off as I listen to the sound of Jacob's heartbeat, feeling the safest I have in a while.

———
a/n: RED TAYLOR'S VERSION. that is all.