Retrocognition

61 | snake

Jacob's room feels like a prison.

I shiver as I cross the threshold into his dorm, a darkness and chill lingering in the air around me that I had never quite been aware of before. My body riddles with goosebumps as I look around his room, feeling as if I'm seeing for the first time after having a blindfold impairing my vision for much too long. It's crazy to think someplace I'd once considered to be a safe haven can now feel so unsettling. My heart breaks at the thought, though I know I have no time to linger in my pain. I have to be strong. For Naomi. For Zach. For myself. For the safety of everyone else on campus.

I don't notice Jacob at first. He's hidden in the back corner of the room, over in the "kitchen" area he put together when his roommate ended up transferring, leaving him with more space than planned. When I spot him, I stiffen; left on edge. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of him. However, I refuse to let Jacob catch on to my uneasiness.

"Hey," I greet, careful to keep my tone light. "Are you hiding from me?"

Jacob glances over at me with a cutting and cold gaze. I swallow hard, unsure of what to make of his closed off demeanor. He seems upset. This worries me. The last time Jacob lost his cool, he ended up bruising my arm and shattering my phone—all in the same night over the course of a single outburst. That's only minimal damage, considering what he's done in the past. After speaking with Daya, I have confirmation that Jacob has been abusive in previous relationships. If I'm right about what he did to Naomi, I know Jacob is capable of much worse than a few bruises. I don't want to be forced to watch history repeat itself—in reality this time, after witnessing the past so many times in the form of hallucinations.

I stand still as Jacob straightens up, turning his back to me. He sets a bottle down on the small table set next to him before carefully pivoting toward me, meeting my gaze with a calculated coldness about him. His facial features are pinched tightly, as if he is refraining himself from exploding. This means that he is only moments away from losing it, which leaves me worried and scared.

It takes all of the strength I can muster to stop myself from trembling.

"I saw you," Jacob tells me in a low tone, "this morning."

I tilt my head to the side as I study him, feigning cluelessness. "You did? Where? Why didn't you come say hi?"

"Don't give me that shit," Jacob spits, taking a sluggish step forward. It suddenly dawns on me that he has been drinking. I can tell by the way his movements seem almost animated, as if he isn't in full control of his body. I cut my gaze over to the table he'd previously set down a bottle. I confirm my suspicions by reading the label, making out the logo of a common beer brand.

"What do you mean?" I discreetly take a hesitant step backward, trying to put as much space between myself and Jacob as possible. I want to bolt; I want to run out of his room before things can get too out of hand. However, I know this isn't a possibility. I wouldn't be able to escape in time, even if I tried.

"You were talking to him," Jacob spits, crossing his arms over his chest as he stares me down. "I saw you."

My heart stills in my chest before falling to the pit of my stomach, making me feel ill. For a moment, I worry that Jacob had somehow seen me talking with Zach. Because if Jacob heard even a fraction of one of the conversations I've had with Zach recently, then the two of us would be in immense danger. I begin to worry that there is somehow a chance Jacob spotted me speaking with Daya, his ex. A shiver runs down my spine that leaves me shaking. Nothing good could possibly come from Jacob finding out I've heard Daya's story. Jacob murdered Naomi, this much I'm sure of. I don't doubt he could do it again. Not after witnessing the way he is looking at me now, with nothing but pure rage in his eyes.

"You saw me with . . . who?" My voice comes out frail, shaken and weak. I curse myself for this, though I know it doesn't really matter. From the looks of it, Jacob is wasted. I doubt he'll remember much of our encounter come morning.

"That blond boy," Jacob slurs, shaking his head in disgust. "The one I told you to stay away from."

A sense of relief courses through my veins, allowing me to breathe once again. He saw me talking to Ben. This I can deal with. His temper will fade. He doesn't know what Zach and I have planned. He doesn't know that I spoke with Daya. He's still oblivious to the truth, just as he thinks I am.

"We just talked for a minute," I say calmly. "It was nothing, Jacob. I promise. You have nothing to worry about. I'm yours. You know that."

Jacob shakes his head, taking quick strides in my direction. He doesn't stop moving until he is towering over me, a crazed look in his eyes to match his enraged expression. He's like a snake, closing in on its prey before going in for the kill.

When he moves even slightly, I can't stop myself from flinching.

"You didn't listen to me," Jacob hisses. "I didn't want to have to do this, Blythe. But it's about time I show you what happens to girls who don't listen."