36 | disoriented

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I can't breathe

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I can't breathe.

I open my eyes in a frenzy, my head pounding as I struggle to get oxygen into my lungs. My breath wheezes as I gasp for air, my body writhing as I fight to breathe.

I'm confused as to where I am and what is happening. Darkness surrounds the area around me, leaving me disoriented. I can't move my head to get a feel for my surroundings. I seem unable to do anything besides heave and struggle.

I suddenly realize that my body is moving of its own accord. I can't make out much through the darkness or the pounding of my head, but I am aware of my hands pushing against something rough. My nails dig into flesh, breaking through skin. However, the hands are not my own. The acrylics decorating my fingertips make this very clear.

I suddenly become aware of the hands around my neck. Fingertips harshly push into my flesh, creating an unbearable amount of pain. The skin of my assailant is calloused, rubbing against my neck and causing a burning sensation amongst my flesh. I hear a popping sound and feel the skin around my neck move against the hands choking me. Vaguely, I realize that the sound had been my throat's reaction to my violent assault. I'm in too much pain to fear what may have happened and what damage has just been done to my trachea in order to cause that sound.

My head spins. My temples throb to the rhythm of my slowing heart beat the longer I go without air. I kick and grab and scrape, only it is not me doing these things. I can see and think for myself, but I am in no control of my body. This scenario feels strangely familiar, though I'm too panicked to figure out where I've seen it before.

My chest burns as my lungs beg me for oxygen. I try as hard as I can to breathe, inhaling breaths deeper than I knew I could take. Either the hands around my neck are squeezing too tightly or my airway has been crushed, because nothing works. I don't think I'm even exhaling at this point. My heart rate decreases significantly. The throbbing in my head dulls, fading to haziness.

My legs still. My limbs give way, slumping to the ground beneath me. My arms fall next, roughly dropping to my sides. I feel cold as my flesh meets the earth, wet leaves rubbing against my arms. I'm incapable of moving, succumbing to the daze overtaking my mind.

I inhale once more. The sound echoes through the eerie dark silence around me. My chest spasms. My eyes burn, no doubt having widened significantly as my breath was stolen from me. The hands around my neck squeeze tightly again, much harder than ever before. The pain makes me want to scream, though I can't. I am left with the inability to make a single sound.

My gaze travels upward. I struggle to see straight, my vision constantly losing focus. I can just make out the night sky. Ink black, littered with white glitter. The stars, I think to myself, are exceptionally bright tonight.

Then everything fades to darkness.

Then everything fades to darkness

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