Before sunrise

Gasp and schock

Thursday October 13, 2022:

Esmee POV

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The alarm clock gets me out of my sleep. I slept 7 hours... not bad. I feel fresh and ready to. Shit.

O, my, bloody lord.

Today I'm seeing Killian and its planned. As in this time, he's not kidnapping me.

I like this kind of change. But what in the world am I supposed to wear?

I rip open my closet and somehow nothings seem good enough.

Skirt? No, to childish

Dress? No, to cold.

Pants? Somehow, not good as well.

Leggings? I don't what him to think I don't try.

So, to say. It is IMPOSSIBLE.

I want to lay on the ground and throw a tantrum out of desperation. Thank the lord I'm not on my period. That would have made things so much more complicated.

I skip over the, wanting to look good part and instead decide on something that is comfortable and that makes me feel confident.

So, I take out black pants and am emerald, green turtle- neck sweater. If you add a black pair of boots with a subtle heel underneath it, it makes the look classier.

I put on all my clothes and go to the bathroom to apply some make-up. My skin is amazing, so I never have to apply foundation. My eyes are my biggest problem when it comes to make-up. I look very young for my age, so making my eyes look smoky gives me an older look. But it can come off as too much. Who care's I wear make-up, so does almost every other female on this planet and if a boy has a problem with that well.... He should know how to dress better. Because hair and clothes are the male make-up. And we can all speak about the fact, that man nowadays, do not know how to clothe themselves.

After putting on some mascara and curling my thin hair, I'm almost ready.

I am very proud of my jewelry collection. It is very extensive, so I always have something to choose. I put on my golden watch, because I've heard that people who wear watches often come off as smart. I wear my pandora bracelet and my hoop earrings. Silver jewelry makes my skin look pale, so gold is always a must.

I walk downstairs but ones I enter the kitchen, I realize that I'm so nervous for the day that I can't eat anything.

Only Tea it is.

I sigh and fill my cup. Tea does miracles for the sore stomach.

I don't do anything. I just wait till It's time to leave.

O fuck it. I can't wait anymore. So, I'm a little early who cares?

Okay, thirty minutes early but if I keep waiting here, I'm going to drive myself crazy.

I sprint down the hall and put on my boots. I grab my long black coat and I thank the universe that its dry.

I hold the handle of my front door, while I swing my school bag over my shoulder.

Am I sure I really want to do this?

My mind says no, you know after 'DID YOU LOSE YOU'RE MIND!'

My heart screams; 'He's the one!'

But is that only because I've never felt like this before. Most of my friends obsess over males and boyfriends. But I was never there. I've never seen a man as attractive. I was sexually attracted to them, but not attracted to them. Never before... but know. I can't explain it. It's like he is the one I'm supposed to be with and therefor I've never been able to see other males. Yes, I saw them, but I've never seen them as anything else then just ordinary people.