Before sunrise

I don't yell, I burn

Tuesday November 8, 2022:

Esmee POV

∞∞∞∞∞∞

I close the door of my father's house and lock it for the night.

That was a long, dreadful flight.

Killian had to stay in Russia, so Dimitri and I were the only ones on the flight.

I have school tomorrow, therefore I am only able to get a few hours of sleep.

How tired I feel. This long weekend was an intense one.

I didn't have time to make any homework so I will be hearing about that tomorrow.

I feel nervous to go back to school. This time is the second time I will enter the school after Killian made a spectacle in front of the whole school. What will they think of me?

And what do I tell my friends? And how much can I tell?

I know I must tell Emma everything. And with everything I mean- everything. She will be both shocked and exited that I lost my virginity.

It is so weird. Now I am one of those people who has sex.

Truth be told, I am way too tired to think anymore. The rest will come tomorrow.

I close the door and turn off the lights in the house and tiptoe upstairs, dragging my suitcase along with me.

When I turn on the lights in my room my father walks in.

'Did you have a fun weekend?' He asks.

More than you know. The wicked part in me lets itself get heard.

I nod my head, 'Yes. I have met Killian his parents. They are very kind.'

'That is a good thing. You can tell a lot about a man's character by the way his parents are. I hope we get to meet hem soon.'

I smile. I am so happy my father is so relaxed about the situation. It truly makes it so much easier.

Home has become a safe place. A place where I don't have to worry about the judgment of the world. I can't explain the comfort it brings me.

'They invited us for Christmas.' I speak.

'They want us to come to Russia?'

I nod, 'They do. We can take the family jet. I think Anna will like it. They live in an old castle.' I try to explain any further.

My father's eyes grow wide, 'That is something else.'

'I know. It is much.' My voice hides disbelief.

My father drops the hammer, 'Esmee. Are you sure this is what you want? His word is different than ours.'

I look up at my father, 'Dad I do not have much of a choice. There is no life without him anymore.'

He sits on the bed and looks at me with his stern eyes, 'That is not a good relationship. A woman who only lives for a man will be sad forever.'

I feel myself getting angry. Killian warned me that, the more absorbed you get in the mate bond, the more uncontrollable the emotions get.

I close my eyes and calm myself down. No emotional control?! I won't let emotion lead my life. I have control over it. Not the other way around.

I open my eyes again. 'I don't just live for him. I live for everything he brings. Dad, I don't belong here...'