Before sunrise

Money is a love language

Monday October 17, 2022:

Esmee POV

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A loud sound wakes me up.

Turn that damn thing off.

There is something heavy resting on me, so I can't move to turn it off.

I open my eyes and see Killian laying on me. He reaches towards the nightstand and turns the alarm off.

He looks back at me, 'Good morning little love.'

I blush and shy away behind my hair. 'Good morning.' Please don't let me have bad morning breath! Don't tell me I look terrible. I hate my morning face.

Killian's weight crushes me, but I don't mind. I feel protected. Although this is a quite provoking position.

Killian leans closer and I hold my breath.

He kisses my neck. Sparks shout through my body. My neck is on fire, and nothing ever felt so good.

I have to bite my lip to hold back a moan. I close my eyes which makes the touch more intense.

Killian sucks on the marking spot and my mind goes wild. He sucks hard enough, but not so hard that it will leave a hicky. His lips are a sweet torment. His warmth is an erotic blanket.

and its smell is an intoxicating drug. The sparks vibrate through my body as his raw fingers press into my sides. I wrap my arms around his torso and almost crush his body.

How can this feel so amazing? Now I know why everybody has sex all the time. If kissing my neck feels so amazing what will kissing other parts feel like?

I can only wonder.

What am I doing. I don't like touch, nor desire... this is wrong. I feel wrong.

'Killian stop.' I let out a tortured whisper.

I my throat shuts and I feel like I can't breathe.

Killian looks at me confused, 'What is wrong?'

Can I tell him? Am I even able to explain this emotion?

I push him away and sit up straight. He keeps looking confused. The more I keep silent the worse his facial expression gets.

'I don't like being touched.' I confess silently while playing with the sheets.

Killian gets a look on his face like he swallowed a lemon.

I knew he hate what I said. He's a guy.

'Why?' He asks.

I shrug. I want to tell him, but what will he think of me?

'Tell me.' He orders.

I sigh and look outside where the sun comes up, 'I do not know the reason per see. All I know is that I do not like it when someone outside my family touches me. Every time someone touches me, I want to throw up in disgust. And I guess it is also a fear that once I let someone touch me, and that person sees me at my most vulnerable... they can take advantage of me. Or worse... leave. And then what will be left of me.' I swallow while my throat tightens.

When he says nothing, I laugh sarcastically, 'It is stupid. I know.'

Killian suddenly grabs me roughly and throws me on the bed as he places himself on top of me. His movements leave me shocked.