Mountain

bonus chapter (4)

three years later:

it's the last week before the summer break and before Ethan graduate. so right now me and him are walking back to my dorms thinking what we can do tonight.

"should we go out to dinner?" i asked him.

"ugh, come on, let's do something more original." he said with a groan.

"oh, it's not like the last time we actually went to eat." he looked at me with a grin.

"izzy." i heard someone call me and i turned my face. James was standing right there, looking at me.

"what are you doing here, James?" i asked him.

"James?" Ethan by my side asked.

"right, James this is Ethan, Ethan this is James." i said introducing them to each other.

"nice to meet you, man." Ethan said, handing his hand out for James.

"you too." they shake hands and then James turned to look at me. "iz, can we talk?"

i opened my mouth but Ethan was quicker. "she doesn't like that." he said and James look at him confused. "being called Iz."

James moved his gaze back to my face and i looked down. i didn't know what to say to him.

"iz, can we talk?" James repeated.

i looked at James, his face was begging, and then turned to Ethan. "give me one second, okay?" he nodded as James walked away from him and i followed.

"what are you doing here?" i asked James sharply.

"thought i'll see what this is all about. Riley said it's huge—"

"James." i called him and he looked at me. "what's going on?"

"well... after the accident i didn't know what to do. so i came to visit you."

"what accident?" i asked him sharply.

"five days ago i got into a car accident. it was pretty big. and on the other side was someone around our age on a motorcycle, and he's hurt pretty badly."

"wait, so you ran away?"

"i couldn't bear it, Izzy! and usually when something this big happened i had you to tell me what to do so i came." i looked at him softly. "tell me what to do, Iz."

i sighed and then looked back at Ethan who watched us. "wait here." i said to James and walked back to Ethan.

"what did he want?" Ethan asked me.

"just my advice on something that happened back home." i explained. "can we reschedule for tomorrow? he really needs me right now."

"umm, yeah, yeah. call me when you get back."

"i will. thanks." i kissed him and then turned back to James.

"so what do you wanna see first?" i asked him and told him to follow me. "we can go grab dinner or..." i looked at him with a big smile. "i know where we should go."

we walked inside a restaurant that looked very much like the restaurant James took me on a date in Miami.

"salsa club?" he asked me.

"isn't it amazing?" i asked back, looking around. "i found it a couple years ago, i took Grace here."

"not Ethan?" he asked and i looked at him.

"you think i would've brought you here if i came with him?" he looked at me softly.

he pulled his hand out for me. "wanna dance?" he asked me and i nodded.

we walked on the dance floor and as soon as we did, it felt like it's only been one day since Internationals. we danced to the music and our chemistry was still there. it was still us against the world.

the song finished and we grabbed take away and walked around the city.

"so, doesn't like Iz anymore?" he asked me.

"don't like Iz when he says it." i explained and looked at him for a second before looking away again. "i should probably go back. it's getting pretty late."

"yeah, come on i'll walk you."

we got to the school gate and he stopped me. "wait, Iz." he stopped me and i looked at him. "come on. are we gonna pretend nothing happened back there?"

"what do you mean?"

"when we danced..." i looked away. "izzy..."

"stop." i begged him. "please stop." he stayed silent. "i'm happy. don't you see that?"

"i can make you happier."

"make me happier? i chose to be here! and you pushed me to go! you wanted to be with the band so i left!"

"so now it's my fault?"

"i'm not saying that. i'm saying... find the strength that James from four years ago had. be happy for me."

"i'll move here if i have to—"

"stop!" i yelled at him.

"Iz, it's me." i looked at him with tears.

"she said stop." i heard a voice behind me and Ethan took my side.

"stay out of it." James said to him.

"no, i won't. look, she's happy man. don't make it harder than it is."

James looked at me and i let the tears down my face. "i'm sorry." i said softly.

he nodded and then walked away from us.

Ethan wrapped his arm around me and walked me to my room.

"want me to say with you?" he asked me.

"no, i'll see you tomorrow."

i got into bed and cried into my pillow. why did he have to come here? everything was perfect and seeing him made me doubt everything.

after Ethan's graduation party i couldn't bear it anymore. i was lying to myself and i was lying to him and i didn't want to.

"hey, so i thought for summer we could go to Europe." he said to me.

"Ethan." i said to him and he looked at me. "i'm gonna spend the summer with Grace in New York." i said to him.

"why?" i looked at him softly with tears. "oh." he realized and took a step back.

"look you deserve someone better. someone who can love you right, and i can't be that person."

"is it about James?"

"i don't wanna live in a lie, and i certainly don't want you to live in mine."

"i love you, Izzy." he said, his hands on my cheeks.

"i love you too. just... probably not in the same way."

he nodded and then kissed my forehead. "you're making a mistake."

"then that's a mistake i have to make." he walked away from me.

i did spend the summer with grace and it was really fun. i met all her friends from back home and it was great.

next year is my final year in Australia and then im going back home, and im getting James back.