The Penalty Box

Chapter 30

"He's leaving in two days?" Jared asked," Shouldn't you at least say goodbye?"

"We said our goodbyes already," I replied bitterly.

"Okay, I know I'm new here. But even I think that's bad," Conrad joined in.

"Surprisingly I agree with him," Charlie said pointing to Con.

"Quit ganging up on me," I groaned," I just don't want to see him okay? The way we left things off was good enough."

"No it wasn't and you know it. You telling him to get out and then not talking to him at the game," Charlie scoffed," That was not good enough."

I looked down at my food. I didn't agree to dinner with the three of them to be ganged up on. I just wanted some quality time with three of my brothers. Conrad's little brother, my youngest half brother, Brandon wasn't allowed to come to our little outing. But then again neither was Con, but he's taken up an act of rebellion. So he's here instead of at his house, being yelled at.

"Coty is leaving, there's nothing I can do to stop it," I said forcing the words out," I've made my peace with it."

"Sure

     ***
I looked out of my window. I knew ten houses down, Cooter was finishing up packing. I'm sure he was enjoying his last few night at home, in his own bed, and spending time with his mom and brother. Soon enough he'd be off in Wyoming. I wasn't sure if I was remotely ready to say goodbye to someone I'd grown to love. But there was no going back now.

"Honey? Are you alright?" My mom asked walking up the few steps into my room.

"Yeah I'm just," I stopped looking down at the pictures in my hand.

Our first date, the dance, some from New York, and some from Canada. Basically Cooter and I's whole relationship in pictures.

"I don't want him to go mom," I said choking back tears," I don't think I'm ready for him to leave."

"I wasn't ready for your father to leave," She told me," But there was nothing I could do to stop it. All I could do was pray he was somehow happy."

I looked at my mom with wide eyes," You wanted him to be happy?"

She looked at me kindly, knowing I didn't understand. Since I was about ten I wished my father would never really be happy, and would also never step foot back in this town. This whole time I didn't want him anywhere near me, and yet my mother, the woman he left, wanted him to be happy.

"Of course I did sweetheart," She replied," We were married for almost eighteen years, and together for almost twenty one years all together. If he wasn't happy with me, then I wanted him to be happy with someone else, for me that's always what love was."

"So, you were okay with him leaving."

"We had talked about divorce, neither of us were really happy," She explained," Only, I didn't really know why he wanted one. But it would've happened either way."

I sat down on the bed and tried to process, for the past eight years I'd blamed everything on my father. Yet I never even stopped to think about how my parents were before. And even when I did, I always thought it was because of the secret affair that had been going on since before I was born. Little did I know I guess.

" Callahan, I know you and your brothers have felt betrayed. But had this all been done the right way, you guys wouldn't have Conrad, and I know the four of you are really getting along well," She reminded me,"Just think about going to see Coty before he leaves, okay?"

"I'll think about it."

What she didn't know, is I would've run down to his house right now if I would've let myself. I didn't care if it was raining or not, I'd rather be soaking wet, than not get to say goodbye to him. Only I couldn't make myself do it. I couldn't bare to let him go, even if that meant not saying goodbye. So I'd sit here all night and have a pity party no doubt. I wanted to say goodbye don't get me wrong, I wanted to beg him to stay. But he was the one that promised me he wasn't going to leave. He knew what he was getting into, yet he did it anyway. And then he broke his promise. And broke me in the process.