♧
Lost in a world that scares me to death, lost in a crowd I am losing my breath. Lost as a person, I can not find my way. Lost in worry, drowning in it.
Yesterday I told Lauren everything. Hidden behind a tree, the sun never shining on us, we talked about everything and something fell off my chest with that. A relieved sigh escaped my lips afterwards.
Today I was all alone. Sitting behind the same tree and shielding myself away from the powerful rays of the sun, I read the letters in my book.
"Honey, you want anything to eat
before I go?" My mother made me divert my attention, her voice barely reaching me.
Looking around the tree, I saw her dark brown hair with her patient face, waiting for an answer. Holding some kitchen applies in her hands and wearing an apron, I assumed she was busy in the kitchen.
"No thanks, I am good."
I shouted back. I saw her returning inside again and I looked down at my book again. One of the most boring ones I have ever read.
"Well, see you tonight then!
I am off to work." She mentioned when I was only a page further.
"Bye mother!"
The door was being shut and my mother left the garden. I let out a breath and tried to concentrate on the book again, it was an assignment for school so it had to be done.
But at this pace I wonder when it will be done, maybe when I am about eighty. With a frustrated sigh I closed the book and looked around the green garden I have surrounded myself in.
Standing up, the chair made some screeching noise when it moved over the floor and I winced. Grabbing my book I walked back inside.
All of the curtains were closed, our house was covered in complete darkness. A silence lingered and it calmed me down. I opened the curtains, knowing if I wanted to have privacy that is the last thing I should do. But this time when I opened them, there was nothing.
Making myself something to drink I read a note my mother wrote herself, saying she had to be somewhere today, I shrugged. Making my way back to the living area, I pouted my lips out of boredsome.
I sat down in the chair he was seated when he visited me here at home. Where he kissed me for the first time. My live was fully blessed with the touch of his enchanting lips.
I drew out a breath, thinking about wanting to have them on mine again. The warmness and carressing of them on my tastebuds. The rose color a blessing for my eyes.
Looking around the living room I sighed out of frustration. A couple walked by the window, followed by a cheerful child. A smile grew in my face.
But all too soon my eyebrows frowned when I thought of my friend. His dissapearin was making me fall into a pitch black hole. It was an endless circle full of desperate questions and thoughts.
My phone pulled me out of my sad thoughts when the device vibrated in my backpocket. Takin the tiny thing out of it, the screen was lit up.
'Still nothing. I don't know what to do anymore. I am coming over by the way, see you in a bit. Lauren x'
