♧
My mind felt like exploding,
everybody looks at me,
knowing my lover will be locked up.
Rotting away in darkness,
no pure light entering his
new environment.
Everybody knows he
will never see the daylight.
Everybody knows he is as good
as dead.
Nobody knows it does
not bother him at all,
the only thing that bothers him:
is he will never see me again.
Nobody knows he is mentally sick.
The dark part of his mind
will take over and my Harry
will be swallowed and forgotten.
His appearance will leave
peoples memories, will leave their
sight and nobody will blink.
"Elijah was a beloved person
and forever will he be in our hearts."
I hear the voice of his mother
speaking on the other side of
the room.
My eyes find her and my mind
is now focused on her speech.
Seeing the coffin standing next
to her and shielding our eyes
from the vision of Elijah his damaged body and broken soul.
"Robbed from live by someone
so cruel, so evil. He took Elijah
away from us and never will
we forgive him,"
People their heads point towards
me and I feel myself sinking in my seat.
Talking is what they all do.
Useless conversations where they
not form their own opinion,
no -- they believe the one telling
the story and they spread the rumour
even more.
Their eyes appear
to see through me and I close
my eyes and swallow.
For they are the ones without
a beating and loving heart.
They do not know how it is to
be in love, to be loved and to
feel love deep in your heart.
If they only knew, it would be
(it is, I know it is) heaven on earth for them. They would look at me with envy, piercing through me with their deadly eyes.
Now they make me small with their angry stares, as if I am the one to blame. As if I lured Elijah
into death.
I calm my beating heart as
much as possible, feeling its pulse
slowing down and my muscles relax underneath my smooth skin.
My eyes do not give the people
the attention they
secretly all crave for:
so I turn away from them and once more do I focus on Elijahs mother.
Her voice booming through the dimmed room and making tears
appear in the eyes of all around her.
"He was my son. A happy kid and one so caring, so full of love for everyone around him. His last days were days we did not expect to see him for the last time."
I blink my tears away
and look at the picture of Elijah
standing in front of all our faces.
His smiles never failed to suprise and
amaze me. His eyes stare at me.
"-We thank you all for coming."
Her voice stops and not even one second after, I hear all chairs moving over the ground -- creating an unpleasant noise.
Through the door they are met
with the light of the sun and although
everyone walks into that direction,
I shy away from my mothers stare and walk towards the front of the room.
