♧
Fear raced through my body,
like wild fire burns down trees.
I was seen as a ghost,
my skin as white as snow in winterdays.
Lips parted and no words ready to escape. My eyes open wide enough to see them from far away. My hands and whole body shaking like
I have never done before.
My mother stares at me
and tears form in her eyes.
Still standing in the doorway,
she clutches the door in her hand.
Such a strong grip,
her old hand turns white
out of the pressure.
"Mom....I-I,"
nothing comes out and I seek
for words to pronounce.
"What are you doing?"
She lets out a deep breath
and I see her eyes,
wide and alarmed.
"I forgot my jacket,"
she says while pointing to her jacket,
which is indeed laying on a chair.
My eyes shoot through the room,
shying away from her stare.
My heart hammers in my chest
and my breathing becomes heavy.
"I heard what you said,
sweetheart. You-you fell in love with him,"
A choke leaves her lipstick colored lips and she looks at me as if I am the enemy here.
"Mom, please, try to understand me.
Please listen to me."
I plea, on which she shakes her head and before I know it she is gone.
She turns around and with big steps she carries herself out of the room.
I do not hestitate a bit and run after her, afraid of what she might do.
"Mom! Wait!"
Wind brushes through my hair and I follow my mother out.
Within a couple of seconds I am next to her and see her wet cheeks.
"Can you please listen?"
I almost beg her and she ignores me completely, as if I am invisible.
The next thing leaves her in a state of ashtonishment, I pull her back with a hard tug. Her stare meets mine.
A gasp escapes her lips, the only thing being heard in the room.
"This has to stop. Ever since you came back, you have been different. You are not my daughter. I am going to do the thing that is best for you."
Her hand takes her phone out of her backpocket and she sits down on a chair.
I wait for something to happen and nervously pull my hair. Biting my lips I fiddle with my hands.
"Hello, you are speaking with Carol,"
she nods and I frown, waiting for a sign that tells me who she is calling.
"Yes, indeed. June's mother."
She keeps looking at me while listening to the person on the line and I feel sweat lingering on my forehead.
"I am calling you for an appointment.
My daughter is not in a state anymore where she can think properly."
She keeps nodding and playing with the end of her shirt and the only thing I can do is wait. Wait for something to happen.
"That's great. Thank you. We are on our way."
She pulls me with her and we move past everything around us without a second glance.
Outside she pushes me in the
car and speeds of to a still unknown destination.
"What on earth are we doing?
Where are we going?"
She stares at the road and
it stays that way.
I roll with my eyes and curse
under my breath. I feel relieved that
I am still quite calm, but I know
it will fade away.
