He Felt Like A Storm ||Wattys2018 ||Wattys2019

Chapter 55. 'Grumpy'

Siddharth’s POV

Now she realized that I’m upset.

I can see that she is really trying hard to control her voice. Control her tears, seeing her in pain aches my heart too but I can’t loose myself again.

She need to realize, she need to figure this out, figure everything out.

I was avoiding her eyes the whole damn time because it makes me weak, make me loose  myself and all I want to do is to hug her tight and take all her pain.

I was unable to make out my words so I decided better to be silent the whole time.

Call me rude but this is all necessary.

But the moment I was about to leave the room, I look at her through the reflection in mirror tears were polled up in her eyes. She was controlling her sobs in front of me, didn’t want me to see her tears like always but I know better what she feels and when she feels.

The whole past months all I wanted was to make her feels that she is special, she means everything to me, to accept my love and more to accept hers but NO!

How can you…. I mean how can she... without even experiencing ‘love’ one  say that its all infatuation and  attraction, instead it’s a pure feel of a string attaching two souls together with a strong knot.

She was worried and wanted a reason, she knows that I’m upset on her but she still didn’t realized the reason of my anger by herself.

God damn it!

Someone please help me, pull these words into her adamant brain.

I cooked her breakfast because I know she’ll be feeling that I don’t love her anymore, which is the last thing I want her to feel. I want her to know I still care and love her.

She texted me to leave. I decide it is better to leave her alone, I want her to realize what could be the reason of  my change in behavior.

I hope so she get it.

…………

I came back home and found Anusha talking over phone she was talking to mom.

Her mood is much better than the morning.

She opened the door for me with a tight expression it was like she wants to smile but was afraid, if I’m going to reply to it or not.

The moment our eyes met. I froze. Her eyes were swollen, puffy and red. Her face shrunk and nose red.

Her face was looking so small because of crying that her neck was looking so long as compared to other days. Her bones were evident and she was looking all tired.  She must have cried the whole day.

I’m so sorry Anusha but I’m doing this for us. I told  her in my mind for the nth time.

She tried to smile towards me but I made a expression less face.

I don’t know what to do next.

Half of my mind was saying that she cried because of you Siddharth, you pushed the act too hard on her. But then the remaining half was saying she still didn’t realize it.

Just keep on doing what you are doing, she needs to figure out her worries and feeling.

Just get over it Anusha! Don’t you get it still now.

I know she is worried but why she is not getting the reason of this feeling.
…………………………

Days passed with this, its been a complete week .