Standing Together

Chapter 13

Castiel strips off his shirt, a few splatters of blood dried on the bottom of it. He tries not to pay any attention to it, just taking off the rest of his clothes and stepping into the warm shower water. He watches the water turn a light red as it falls from his hand, because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get rid of all the blood. Though, he supposed he didn't try too hard. He wasn't really thinking at the time.

He tries not to think about how this is someone's blood going down his drain. Someone's internal fluids followed him from Louisiana to Massachusetts, while the person to whom the blood belongs probably can't even leave the hospital — if they were fortunate enough to not go straight to the morgue.

"Stop it," Castiel mutters, soft enough that no one else can hear him. "Happy thoughts. Happy — kittens. Puppies. Mark the guinea pig. Baby Alex. Happy stuff." He lets out a long sigh, leaning against the side of the shower. How is he supposed to be happy right now?

There's a loud knocking on the door and Castiel jumps, sucking in a loud breath. He presses his palms against the wall as if steadying himself and closes his eyes. God, what is wrong with him?

"Hey, Cas," Dean calls from the other side of the door. "It occurs to me that you don't actually have any clean clothes, so I got you some of mine. I'm just gonna leave them on the sink counter thingy, okay?" When he doesn't get an answer, he adds, "That was my way of asking if I can open the door. I kinda need an answer. Can I come in for, like, five seconds?"

Castiel takes a deep breath, his voice coming out mostly steady when he says, "Yeah."

"'Kay." Dean rattles the doorknob, then says, "Wait, never mind. You locked the door."

"Hold on." Castiel slips out of the shower, water dripping on the floor. He stands behind the door when he cracks it open and holds his hand out.

"You know, we're about to get married," Dean reminds him as he hands over the clothes. "Usually, there's this little free pass where your spouse can see you naked."

Castiel just closes the door between them. He drops his clothes on the counter, and is about to hop back in the shower when he hears Dean's voice again.

"And, for future reference, the mirror is completely visible from outside the bathroom. That door isn't going to help you very much."

Castiel doesn't respond to that, but he can't help but smile to himself. It may feel like the world turned upside down, but at least Dean is still the same horny boy he's always been.

~~

It doesn't take long for Castiel to find Dean once he gets out of the shower. The boy is on his phone, sounding exhausted. Castiel doesn't turn the corner, staying out of sight to eavesdrop because he's bored.

"— alive, so it could be worse. He's not okay, but I don't think anyone's expecting him to be okay right now." There's a pause as the person on the other end of the line speaks, then, "He's just... not. I don't know. You'd have to be here to understand — I know he hasn't answered the phone. Believe it or not, you're not always everyone's top priority — When he comes out, I'll tell him you called, but I don't know if he wants to talk to anyone right now, even you."

Castiel can tell what they're talking about — him, obviously — but he's curious about who's on the other end of the line. He steps into the room to find Dean lying down on the couch, his cell phone up to his ear. He sits up when he sees his fiancé, a small smile on his face, and gestures for the boy to come sit down.

"Who are you talking to?" Castiel asks.

"Lucifer," Dean replies. "He says 'hi.' You're welcome to steal my phone and talk to him yourself if you want."