Standing Together

Chapter 117

When Lucifer shows up with his camera equipment, he doesn't come alone. Gabriel trails behind him, carrying a bag that they can easily assume is Lucifer's. With his hands as full as they are, he probably needed the extra help, and apparently, Gabriel is the waiter now. It's not that Lucifer is carrying a lot, though. He has a tripod in one hand, casually sticking out about a foot behind him — easily enough to stab someone — and his camera in the other, pointing it at Dean and Castiel as soon as they open the door.

"Hey, would you look at that?" Lucifer says with a grin. "It's my two favorite clients!"

"Oof," Dean says with a teasing smile. "Downgraded from 'friend' to 'client.'"

"Bold of you to assume anyone ever thought of you as a friend," Gabriel says.

"Hey!" Lucifer interrupts. "There's no fighting in my Christian household!"

Dean rolls his eyes. "This 'household' is neither Christian, nor yours."

"And there's a lot of fighting," Gabriel adds. "So you're wrong on all three accounts."

Castiel sighs. "This is gonna be a long day."

~~

"Alrighty," Lucifer says, once everything is set up in Dean and Castiel's bedroom — which Lucifer forced them to use because he wouldn't let anyone have sex, real or not, on any of his beds, especially knowing Castiel's old room is now Mark the guinea pig's. "Let's introduce the cast and crew!

"This is Castiel Novak, obviously," Lucifer says, pointing the camera at him. "Not sure why I had to introduce you. The music video's going on your VEVO channel, after all."

Castiel just crosses his arms and leans against the wall, an amused smile on his face.

"And this is Dean Losechester —"

"Oh, fuck you," Dean says, but he's laughing, so he clearly doesn't mean it.

Lucifer sticks his tongue out at him. "I'm Lucifer, Castiel's awesome older brother, and this is Gabriel, my sidekick." He points the camera at his little brother, who pretends to punch it. "He's mostly only here so I don't feel awkward watching my lil bro have fake sex alone."

"I'm gonna be real," Dean says, "the idea of having fake sex in front of my best friend and my worst enemy isn't a whole lot better."

"Ooh, ooh, who's your best friend?" Gabriel asks. "Is it me? It's me, isn't it?"

"You're definitely not my friend in any way," Dean says.

Gabriel scoffs. "Rude! What did I ever do to you?"

In a mocking falsetto voice, Dean says, "'When you die in Minecraft, ha ha ha!"

"This makes no sense and I love it," Lucifer says.

"You know, any other director would tell them to get to work," Castiel tells him.

"Fortunately, I'm not 'any other director,'" Lucifer says. "No, but actually, we should probably start filming. In the words of my favorite inspirational speaker, 'Are ya ready, kids?"

"Aye aye, Captain!" both Dean and Gabriel yell in unison.

"I can't hear you!" Lucifer says, just as loud.

"Aye aye, Captain!"

As they launch into a very loud rendition of the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song, Castiel gets ready to film. Button up sweater? Check. Jeans? Check. What else... Right, his character had glasses in the book! He ordered some just for this. Where did he put them...? Right, his bedside table drawer. He pulls them out and puts them on, suddenly pitying everyone that has to wear them to see. The frames cut off too much of his vision. Maybe he shouldn't have chosen thick nerd glasses, but it's too late now.

"Welp, Cas is all ready," Dean says. "I guess we should probably catch up."

"Hey, I've been ready since before we started singing, SpongeBob," Lucifer says.

"Yeah, and I haven't had to get anything ready because I'm just gonna stand here on my phone and make annoying comments, so I've been ready since before we started singing, too, SpongeBob."

"I hate you all," Dean deadpans.

"I can deal with that," Gabriel says.

"But, anyway, I'm ready when you are," Lucifer says.

"Okay, just, quick question," Dean says.

"Shoot."

"You said this is basically a montage, right?"

Lucifer nods. "Completely basing it off that one scene with Buffy and Angel in season two."

"So it doesn't have to be in one take?" Dean asks.

"Uh... no?" Lucifer says uncertainly. "I mean, I'm not gonna stop filming, if that's what you mean, but I can cut stuff out?"

"I completely meant the second part with the cutting stuff out, actually," Dean says. "Sounds like a plan."

"Is it time for the sexy schmexy?" Gabriel asks excitedly.

"Why are you looking forward to that?" Castiel asks.

"Because I'm gonna start texting Sam when you finally start doing stuff, and I wanna text Sam now," Gabriel says.

"You heard the man," Dean says. "Let's get this over with."

"Also, for the record," Lucifer says, "I've never done anything like this, 'cause I usually edit for the content and not the sexy schmexy feeling, so if y'all got any suggestions..."

Castiel raises an eyebrow. "What are you looking at me for?"

"Well, you've made music videos way more than I have," Lucifer says. "You should be better at this than I am."

"Yeah, but I've never filmed them," Castiel says. "And they've never been like this."

"Yeah, but —

"So, basically, we're in complete control of the video, as much as we want to be, is what you're saying," Dean says. "Which could be not at all."

"Yeah, but I'd prefer if you-slash-mostly-Castiel would help," Lucifer says.

"I'm just as clueless as you, Luce," Castiel says.

"Fine, then let me step in, just because I'm really fucking tired and don't want to deal with this," Dean says. "If you're making a montage, you need drastically different chronological shots, which means different camera angles, which means either different camera angles during the scene, or we need multiple takes, or both."

Lucifer gapes at him. "Dean Winchester, giving out good advice? What is this?"

"It's because he watches a lot of porn," Gabriel says teasingly.

"What type of porn are you watching that's done in montages?" Dean asks. "No, I watch a lot of movies."

"And porn," Gabriel says. "You don't have to admit it. We already know."

Dean waves a hand at him, as if trying to hit him, even though he's far away.

"Anyway," Castiel says, trying to get them back on track again. "I think it's about time to start filming."

A/N Happy Valentine's Day! I mean, technically Valentine's Day is almost over and it probably will be over for 95% of you when you see this because time zones and sleep schedules and whatever but I'm uploading on Valentine's Day and that's what matters. Also I didn't proofread any of this and I don't actually know what chapter this is so that's fun.