Chapter 143

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"I've changed my mind," Dean mumbles through a mouthful of food.

"You've changed your mind about what?" Castiel asks.

Dean holds up a finger, evidently realizing he should finish chewing before he speaks. "I don't want pasta. I'm just gonna eat breadsticks for dinner."

Castiel chuckles. "I mean, you can do that, I guess, but I think you're morally obligated to buy food, even if you aren't gonna eat it."

"But I wanna eat breadsticks," Dean whines.

"Then you can order something else and I'll eat it," Castiel says. "I'll eat part of two meals."

"Ooh, good plan," Dean says. "What do you want? And what do you want me to want for you to want?"

Castiel, who had been flipping through the menu for approximately 30 seconds before settling in what he knew he wanted, suddenly remembers that he doesn't actually want anything else.

"Maybe just two normal plates of spaghetti?" Castiel says.

"So you're gonna have half of one plate of spaghetti and half a plate of the other spaghetti?" Dean says, confused.

"Well..." Yeah, he didn't really think this one through. "What if you get something to take home?"

"Ooh, good thinking," Dean says. "Although I'd like to just take home breadsticks."

"That's literally the opposite of what this whole 'taking food home' thing is supposed to accomplish," Castiel reminds him.

"That is true, but a boy can dream, can't be?" Dean replies.

When the waitress returns with their drinks — neither of which are alcoholic, because Castiel is low-key afraid of getting drunk and being more of a dumbass than usual and he refuses to let Dean drive them home after having a beer — Castiel orders his spaghetti and waits for the most important moment of his evening.

What will Dean order?

Will he just ask for more breadsticks?

Will he get another spaghetti, like Castiel suggested?

Will he get something for himself to eat, either here or at home?

Find out next chapter in —

No, just kidding. This isn't actually as dramatic as I'm making it out to be, and you doubtlessly already knew that.

"I'm gonna be completely honest with you," Dean says, "I'm fully planning on just eating breadsticks all night."

The waitress laughs. "We, they are delicious."

"Would you be incredibly offended if I didn't order anything and just ate more breadsticks?" Dean asks.

"Of course not," she says, both puzzled and amused. "Why would I be offended?"

"Well, because tips are usually done by a percentage of the meal, of course," Dean says. "And if I just eat the complimentary breadsticks, it's like you're just getting tipped for serving one person, even though you're serving two."

"Oh, no, that's okay," she says.

But Dean isn't done, because when is he ever done being a weirdo?

"But," he says, "because you were so cool about me just eating a million breadsticks, I'm going to tell you now and not later that it's not going to cut your tip in half, because you're cool and I don't want you to hate us until we leave."

As a waitress, it's safe to assume that this young woman has dealt with many unorthodox customers. Every customer service worker has. But, if her amused smile and her stifled laughter is any indication, it's also safe to assume that she considers him the not-so-obnoxious version of unorthodox. Either that, or she's a great actor, which, now that Castiel thinks of it, is probably a necessary skill when working in customer service. God, he really hopes it's the former.

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