Standing Together

Chapter 137

Jack and Dean are sitting on the couch, with Castiel in a chair nearby. Jack shoves a burger in his mouth, and Castiel has to fight back a laugh.

"You can slow down, you know," Dean remarks. "That stuff's not gonna disappear."

Castiel scoffs. "Ever seen you eat, Dean?"

Dean bitch faces him, then grabs a beer. Jack eyes him for a moment, then does the same, popping the cap off with ease.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Dean says quickly. "How old do you think you are?"

Without a pause, Jack replies, "17 years, 5 days, 17 hours, and 42 minutes."

Dean eyes him for a moment, then shrugs. He takes a sip of his beer, and Jack does the same — with a beer bottle full of apple juice, or course, but the audience doesn't have to know that.

"This book..." Jack holds up the Bible. "It mentions your brother, Lucifer." He glances at Castiel as he says it, then turns his attention back to Dean.

Dean chuckles drily. "Yeah, he's big in the Bible. Lotta screen..."

Dean bursts out laughing, dropping his head in his hands. "Sorry, that's just..."

"I know, I know," Lucifer says with a grin. "I am the funniest person alive."

Dean looks up at him and says through his laughs, "This is so, so bad."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear," Lucifer says proudly. "Now shushles. We got a video to finish. Dean, we're back at your line — if you can finish it this time."

"Oh, shut up."

"And, action!"

"Yeah, he's big in the Bible," Dean says again, this time with a straight face. "Lotta screen time."

"And you... know him?" Jack asks. "A celebrity?"

"Well, he's not really an easy guy to know," Castiel says, one of his only lines in the skit. "He's, um... he's kind of rough around the edges."

"He's Satan," Dean deadpans.

"And that's... that's bad," Jack says slowly, as if he's just now learning about Satan.

Castiel cracks a small smile at that. He's allowed to do that, per Lucifer's rules. He's just a spectator.

Dean just looks at Jack for a moment, a smile growing on his lips, then slowly doubles over in laughter.

"Hey, Dean," Lucifer says, "Has anyone ever told you that you suck at this?"

"I'm sorry, this is just..." Dean shakes his head to himself, pulling himself together. "This is just so, so bad."

"Of course it is," Lucifer says. "I wrote it."

"I regret letting you make me do this," Dean says.

"I'm starting to regret letting you do it, too," Lucifer says.

"Sorry, sorry, I'll stop," Dean says. "Just... 'He's satan.' 'Is that bad?'"

"By far the best part of the script," Castiel agrees.

"But the point of the video is the Jack copying Dean, not the dumb Bible-Satan-whatever jokes," Lucifer pouts. "That's just my brand."

"And your brand is fucking awful," Dean says. "I love it."

"Can you at least pretend your favorite part is the actual joke of the video, and not the Satan jokes?"

"I can try, but no promises," Dean says.