Standing Together

Chapter 79

"Yasss, bitch!" Castiel says with a grin, donning his infamous rainbow costume for showtime, like any self respecting gay would do.

The audience cheers. They always do when they realize the epitome of gay music is up next. Castiel just stands there with a confident smile, gazing out at the audience with a look of adoration. They're all here for him. Every single person in this stadium right now is here to watch his show. It's a lot to take in.

But that means that when the bombs go off, when people start screaming, when they start dying, it's all on him. They came out here for him, and they're dying.

Castiel hops off the edge of the stage, his knees stinging on impact. He runs over to the first person he sees, trying to help them, to save them, to at least be of some use.

He kneels down and cups the girl's bloodstained face in his hands. "Hello? Can you hear me?" He waits for a response, but it doesn't come. He's about to lose hope when he notices her chest rising and falling slowly. She's alive, but it won't last long. He has to help her. He has to help them all, before it's too late. But he can't be everywhere at once. He needs help.

And that's when it starts. The screaming, the yelling of his name. He looks up to see the crowds of people standing in front of him, their cameras pointed at his face. They're all calling out to him, not with suggestions but trying to get his attention; trying to get a better picture.

"Help!" he yells, waving his arms around frantically. "Help me! Please!"

But they don't. They just stand there, their cameras at the ready, the flashes blinding. He cries out for help again, desperation clear in his voice, but he gets nothing for it.

"C-Castiel," the girl in front of him chokes out, pausing to cough up a splatter of blood.

"What?" he asks quickly. "What is it? What's wrong?"

With a cold, accusing look in her eye, she growls, "This is all your fault."

And then she's dead.

~~

Castiel slams his hands against the mattress and pushes himself into a seated position as quickly as he can. He presses a hand against his chest, his heart pounding against it as he gasps for breath.

"Cas?"

The name is barely audible through Dean's yawn. The boy sits up slowly and rubs his eyes.

Castiel looks down at his shaking hands. He clasps them together in his lap just to stop them. His face feels like it's about to burst into flames, and the rest of his body isn't far behind. His breathing is short and shallow, and he can't catch his breath.

"Hey, Cas, it's okay," Dean coos, putting an arm around the boy's shoulders.

Castiel hits his hand away and curls up into a ball. It doesn't help. He just feels hotter and hotter, especially without the colder motel air to cool himself off.

"Okay, okay, sorry," Dean says quickly. "Just breathe, okay? Deep br—"

"I can't," Castiel chokes out. He wishes it were that easy. He wishes he could have calmed himself down like that, but he can't turn it on and off like a light switch.

"Yes, you can," Dean says, his voice somehow both firm but gentle. "Just listen to the sound of my voice, okay? Breathe —"

"Stop telling me to breathe when I very clearly can't breathe!" Castiel almost yells it, throwing it out all in one breath, which somehow makes it worse. He runs a sweaty hand down his face, wiping away a few tears in the process.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Dean says, backtracking quickly. "Sorry, I'll just..." He trails off, and right when Castiel decides that he's done, that he's officially been scared away from trying to help, he starts singing quietly.

"Wise men say..."

Castiel looks over at him in surprise. That song? Why that song, out of the hundreds upon hundreds of classic rock songs they've enjoyed together?

"Only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you."

He's not entirely sure how he's calmed down by the end of that. It may have been Dean's singing, calm and quiet. It may have been the time it took to sing the whole line at the right tempo, long enough for a panic attack to end on its own. Maybe it was just a little bit of both, mixing together to make a more relaxing environment. Either way, by the end of it, he's feeling a lot calmer.

"Better?" Dean asks softly.

Castiel just moves closer to him, wrapping his arms around the boy life he's his only lifeline. Dean hugs him as well, rubbing his back soothingly.

"Bad dream?" Dean guesses quietly.

"Mm hmm," Castiel hums.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dean asks.

"No."

"Okay." Dean presses a kiss to the boy's cheek without pulling away. "If you change your mind, you know you can talk to me, right?"

"Yeah," Castiel says quietly, his voice sounding dry to his own ears.

"I love you," Dean murmurs. "I love you so much."