Letting Go

chapter 12

I am currently in Hayden's guest room, after the passionate kiss I went to bed saying I have a headache. I know he saw through my lies but decided to keep quiet. Why did something so wrong feel so right, what is wrong with me, he was dating my best friend. My best friend who has been gone for just two months.

I have been in bed for about two hours now, but I still can't sleep. I have been tossing and turning, all I keep doing is playing out the kiss. I have kissed a few guys, but they have nothing on him.
Not even Liam who was my first kiss, yes he is a good kisser but with him it was soft, sweet and one of the best but Hayden made it breathtaking full of chemistry.

Argh why am I still thinking about the stupid kiss.

I wake up to go to the kitchen to drink some water. Hayden must have gone to bed already, it's pretty late. I slowly open the cupboards looking for a glass making sure not to make noise.

"Can't sleep" I hear a voice making me drop the glass breaking in the process.

'Hayden, why you sneaking up on me in the dark? you will give me a heart attack'

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Don't move you will get hurt" he says looking at the broken glass on the floor.

He walks out of my side and the room lights up, and throws me off guard when he picks me up and walks us over to the staircase. "Go to my room and open second door on your left, you will find sleepers in there" he orders then starts picking up the mess I made.
When I return he is done and offers me a glass of water. I notice blood on his pointy finger, he got hurt while picking up the shattered pieces of glass.

'You cut your finger, where do you keep your first aid kit?'

"I didn't notice, but it's not that bad" he says frowning at the injured finger.

'You got cut helping you so stop being a jerk, and tell me where to get first aid kit'

He comes closer to me and I get worried there for a second. He opens the cupboard under the sink, takes it out and hands it to me. I hold his hand and run water over the cut, I take it out supplies clean his cut and put a plaster on the cut.

Hayden is staring at me, I didn't even notice how close we are, I feel how warm his body is, I can smell his strong woody cologne. It's as though for the first time I notice the little things about him.

His grey eyes look into my big brown ones, searching for something. We stay like this-no words spoken-not breaking eye contact. Hayden lifts his hand to caress my cheek softly and without realizing I lean into it and close my eyes. Only opening them when I feel his breath across my face, his eyes are closed and he rests his forehead against mine, he clenches and unclenches his jaw and I can tell he is battling with himself.

I close the gap between us and kiss him and he pulls away. "Please don't tell me to stop, let me taste your lips one more time" His voice is shaky and deep

'I want you to kiss me' and he does, it's deep and passionate- his hands move to my waist-he holds me tight, like he is afraid I will disappear. He deepens the kiss, this kiss is tongue, teeth and lips, his hold on my waist tightens and im sure it's going to leave a mark, but that doesn't bother me. I pull at his hair, my other hand holding his shirt and he pulls away and picks me up and heads to the living room still kissing me.

Hayden puts me gently on the couch and stares at me, still in disbelief that this is happening. He closes the gap and kisses me softly, I run my fingers through his hair loving it's soft silky texture, when I feel his tongue asking for entrance I give him and he tastes like mint. Our tongues fight for dominance and he wins making me pull his hair and he groans each time I do.

We pull away for oxygen, his lips look thoroughly kissed, his eyes are filled with lust and I'm sure mine are just the same. "That was better than the first time" he says smiling down at me.

'It does keep getting better' I reply.

"It's pretty late, we should get some sleep" he says kissing my neck and pulling me up from the couch.

Hayden walks me to my room then kisses my forehead living me hot and bothered and walks to his room. I wonder if this time I 'll get some sleep at all. Hayden is making me feel things I never knew existed. I walk to the bathroom to wash my burning face but what I see in the mirror makes my face burn even more with blush. My cheeks are red as a tomato from all the blushing, my lips look swollen. I walk to bed fighting all the thoughts in my head, giggling and before I know it sleep takes over me.

.........................

For the first time in a long time I slept all night last night, when I wake up my mind is all over the place, it can't even function well, where am I? Everything about yesterday comes back to me, movies with Hayden, dinner then the kisses we shared.

My thoughts are broken by my phone vibrating, it's a text from the new tenants in my old apartment. They received a package from courier services, I know what they are talking about. It's a Lily's birthday present, I purchased a few things from France for Lily, I had to pre order them months ago before they hit the market. When I look at the date I see that her birthday is in two days. It's like someone just threw a bucket of cold iced water at me.

It is that notification that reminds me what I have been up to, who kissed the hell out if me last night-who made me feel things unknown to me-who made me a paddle mess. Hayden made me feel sexy, beautiful and worshipped and he did that with just a kiss. How could I let lust cloud me like this?

I kissed my best friend's boyfriend and her body hasn't even cold for more than two months. What the hell is wrong with me? I have to stay away from him. I feel like I'm betraying Lily, my heart feels heavy all of the sudden. I have to go home and get out if here.

With that thought in mind I go to the bathroom to do my daily routine, I take a spare toothbrush I find in the bathroom and change into my clothes. When I'm done with cleaning myself up I go to the bedroom and tidy up. I glance at the bedside clock to find that it's 10:45am.

I walk downstairs to find Hayden speaking on the phone in the kitchen. I wait for him to hang up, as if sensing me he turns to look at me then talk a little more over the phone before dropping the call.

"Hey, I thought you are still sleeping, what do you want for breakfast"

'Just woke up, no breakfast for me I should go home'

Hayden frowns then looks at me for a moment before saying "what's the rush, you should eat before you go" he looks me searching for something in my eyes then continues softly this time "please don't tell me you regret the kiss Tori"

'Everything happened in the heat of the moment, it shouldn't have happened Hayden'

"Heat of the moment Victoria, don't give me that crap, we both wanted it to happen" he yells

"There is no use arguing about it. I have to go" I say turning on my heel.

"I hope you could just stop running away and pushing people away, Lily would be disappointed in you Victoria" This makes me to look at him, the nerve of this guy!

'Don't tell me what to do, yes she would be disappointed to see me with you. I can't betray her like that'

"Lillian is not coming back Victoria. I'm not telling you what to do, all I am saying is that you should stop denying yourself some happiness"

'I can't do this' with that said I take my bag and close the door behind me. As I enter the elevator going to the parking basement, I'm thankful I drove myself here.

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Do you think Victoria is betraying Lily? Is her guilt justified or she is just torturing herself over nothing? I would like to here your thoughts on this.

Kikipee ❤️

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