How to be Forever Alone [#Wattys2020]

42.

"Well," I state correctly, "he's more blackmailing me."

"Blackmailing you?!" Tess questions, ripping the letter out of my hands. She spends a minute reading it over, "You better be grateful for the fact that I've been covering for your ass... yada-yada-yada... You know what?! I'm blackmailing you now. I thought I would just make this letter cute and stupid, but no! So get yourself home. That's an order!"

"Jeez, Claire," Chase inhales through his clenched teeth, "this would explain the really weird texts I've been getting from your brother."

"Weird texts like wha-" I get cut off.

"You have to go," Tess says pointing at the words on the page.

Just as quickly, Chase butts in, "He tried to bribe me a few times."

"Isn't that illegal?" Tess goes on questioning.

My many attempts at trying to get a word in failed miserably.

"It was only with a movie gift card," Chase says.

"Still," I watch Tess lift that eyebrow of hers, "I'm pretty sure that's still a crime."

"Did your mom never bribe you with cookies as a kid?" He asks in an arrogant-like manner.

Before I knew it, they were all overlapping each other, yelling whatever would come to our minds. Axel... that random guy, even joined in. I think he was just worried that we would forget he existed.

This is a mess. My life is a mess.

I wasn't really sure how to diffuse the situation. Maybe I would scream at the top of my lungs, but I don't think I have the anger to pull that off, or on the other side, I could just kiss Tess and maybe it will shut them all up.

The conversation had completely departed from the problem at hand by the time I walked over to the coffee table in the living room and took hold of one of Chase's precious geodes.

I held it above my head, "Be quiet or else the fancy rock gets it."

I would never actually break it, I just wanted to make them think I could if I wanted to.

They all turned to me on the flip of a dime. Tess looked like she was trying to taunt me, Chase seemed like he was about to let out a wail and Axel... he was there.

"Please don't hurt my baby!" Chase pleads, his arms in the air.

I make a small yet unrelenting move, trying to get my actions across to them.

Chase almost speaks again, but I repeat myself and he stops completely.

"I'm not going," I say.

"But you have to," Tess tells me, "they're your family."

"I don't care that they're my family," I go on, "It's just Thanksgiving."

"You should be with your family," Chase says, "I will be. We could drive down together."

"It's a stupid holiday," I mumble under my breath without anyone hearing me.

"Plus," he continues, "if you stayed here you would be all alone, I'm sure Tess won't be here either."

"...Actually," Tess scratches the back of her head, "My parents are both gone on a business trip until the 15th."

"This is even better," Chase chimes, "You can introduce Tess to your mom and Flint."

"Introduce them?" I quiver my lip ever so slightly.

Tess comes to place her hand lightly on my shoulder, "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing," I respond without hesitation, "It's just that they don't know."

"That we're together?" she asks.

I nod, "And the fact that I'm bisexual."

I don't think my mom or my brother ever gave a second thought to my sexuality, they've probably just always thought that I was straight, and I never thought that someday I would have to talk to them about it. Although, this has been a rather recent development in the story that is me.

Tess just pulls me into a hug and holds me as tight as she can. Her hair covering us both, mostly because of how much taller she is than me.

"You know I'm here for you no matter what," she says. "If you want my help, we can do it together or you don't have to tell them at all."

I thought I might let out a tear, but the pointy bits from that outrageous rock were digging into my sides. I had almost forgotten about the stupid thing and so I unwrap myself from Tess and I place it back on the table.

I stop myself for a minute to take all of this in. Thinking about the possible paths this could send me down, but I knew that one thing that I wanted more than ever was to have Tess by my side.

"You guys are right," I say, "I should go, but..."

"But what?" Chase questions.

I turn myself around so that I can take Tess' hands in mine. It felt so incredibly hard and heavy to just look up at her eyes, but eventually, I do.

"I want you to come with me," I tell her.

In my mind, I imagined myself practically begging her down on my knees. I would do anything for her, even if it meant that she would only be there holding my hand. It's all I would ever need.

"Yeah," she smiles, "I can do that."

I give her a quick kiss on her perfect lips. They tasted like strawberries and matched their colour too.

"But," she interrupts, "You're going to have to meet my parents too when they get back."

"Yeah," I say imitating the way she said it, "I can do that."

I hadn't even realized Chase run to grab my phone from the top of the dresser in Tess' room, but he hands it to me and I take it.

For the first time in a long time, I scroll down my list of contacts to find Flint's number and I decided to finally send him my answer.

"Flint," I write, "I got your letter and I'm sorry that you're now stuck with a sibling who's always had a massive crush on you."

It definitely sounded weird when I wrote it down, but I was banking on the thought that he would know I was referring to Chase. It's not like Chase ever tried to hide it either, but it hasn't stopped him from getting a few snarky comments in whenever they're face to face.

I continue on, "Unfortunately for you, after I petition for the weekend off from my very luxurious job, expect me to be there for Thanksgiving. And before I forget, I'm bringing someone with me."