How to be Forever Alone [#Wattys2020]

45.

My mom fluttered her eyelashes maybe once too many times, I think she was sort of shocked. In a way, she was acting like that stupid old computer of her's that takes forever to process everything.

Flint, on the other hand, still stood right behind her, but it didn't seem to phase him at all.

"Cool," he says, "come on in."

My mother finally took a few steps, unsticking herself from that state of mind, yet she just went straight to the kitchen.

She could be checking on dinner, but I wasn't so certain that was the only reason she left us in the doorway.

"Should I go check on her?" I ask Flint while untying my shoes.

"Nah, she's probably fine," he says.

I give him an annoyed look, furrowing my eyebrows and raising the corner of my mouth ever so slightly. I'm not sure that he saw the same thing I did when I told her.

I shove my bag into his hands while I take another step into the house, "Yeah, I don't believe you."

I walked back towards the kitchen while Tess introduced herself to Flint.

"Mom?" I say, trying not to startle her.

She stood over the stove stirring something in a cast-iron pot, I assumed it must have been mashed potatoes. Her clothes were a little dirty, covered in whatever she had been cooking all day.

"Darling," she starts, "I'm so glad your here."

The tone in her voice was still off, it quivered a little but not to the point where I thought she might cry.

"Mom?" I ask again, "Are you okay?"

She stops everything she's doing and places her wooden spoon down.

"I'm fine sweety," she says using her right hand to lean on to the green vinyl countertop.

"I don't think you are," I tell her honestly, "I did just kind of tell you something that might be hard to wrap your mind around."

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't scared at all of what her response might be.

I didn't bother making eye contact, "Are you mad at me?"

She didn't jump a beat replying to that, "Of course not honey, I'm not mad at you. A little surprised, yes, but I couldn't ever be mad at you like that."

That was kind of a relief hearing her say those words.

"I just... I just had no idea that you were-" she tries to get out.

I finish her sentence, "Bisexual. At least I think that's what I am."

And for the second time tonight she pulls me into a hug, this one much tighter than the last. I wrap my arms around her and I hold her close, taking the moment in because who would know when we would do this again. It felt like it could have been at least a year since she hugged me like this.

In the living room, which I passed right by on my way to the kitchen without taking a second look, Flint was sitting beside Robin, his girlfriend who I almost forgot existed, Tess was sitting in that huge chair I helped my mom bring in from the car months ago and across from her Rick, which I guess was still a thing, was sitting in the recliner.

"Hey," I say to everyone as I walk in the room.

"Hey," Tess says beaming with light in her eyes as she sees me.

I go and sit on the armrest of her chair and I hold her right hand, that she lifts up to mine. She seemed to be getting along just fine with everyone, I was a little worried before that she might not like my family, and by that, I meant my brother. He can be an asshole sometimes, clearly, but I'm sure Robin has him on a leash today.

"Supper's ready!" My mom shouts as she brings a plate filled to the brim with ham into our small dining room connected, both, to the kitchen and the living room.

Flint's practically jumping out of his seat ready to devour everything on the table and Rick is at the complete other side of the spectrum, taking his good old time to get out of the recliner.

That used to be my dad's chair, and I think Rick is the first person to actually sit in it in years. I guess my mom might finally be moving on if she can handle people touching dad's things.

Eventually, we all managed to squeeze ourselves around the table and started passing around the food that took up most of the available space.

We're only a few bites in when Flint places his cutlery down, making a loud clinging noise against his plate. Everyone looks up and we see him with the widest grin possible.

"What is it?" I ask him cautiously.

"Well," he straightens himself, "Robin and I have an announcement."

Please don't tell me I'm going to be an aunt! PLEASE don't tell me I'm going to be an aunt! I'm not ready and I don't feel like babysitting!

"What is it?!" mom pushes.

Flint takes Robin's hand and she smiles.

"We're getting married!" he finally says.

At this point, I think mom almost exploded, more than she would have earlier in the day, but she's ecstatic, jumping with joy from ear to ear.

After mom took the time to calm down, Flint continued, "It won't be anything big, just something for friends and family."

"I'm happy for you both," Rick says in his raspy voice, patting Flint on the shoulder.

For me, the air in the room felt a little weird and awkward. I wasn't sure if I should say anything or congratulate them, I don't know if they would ever expect that from me. I don't see myself as the congratulating type, this is not to say that I'm not happy for them, cause I am, I guess I'm just at a loss for words.

"This might be weird to ask you, Claire," Flint says.

I instantly, without hesitation, sit straight up in my chair.

"I want you to be my best man. Or rather best woman."