We Were Free

Chapter 19

I went to work the next morning and I literally acted like nothing between had ever happened between us. At all. I made his coffee, put it on his desk, and I walked out and did my paperwork and responded to emails. I had a doctors appointment at 2pm to not have the baby, and he didn't show up to work until 10am when I had been there for two hours already. I had basically gotten done my work for the entire day. I was just so tired of it. I hated that I had to pretend he was a stranger, but honestly I wanted to find a new job. I didn't want to work with him if he was going to be the way he was. I couldn't pretend I didn't care about him and if I wanted to get over him I had to get away from him as a whole. When I realized he was in his office, I walked in and he looked up at me.

"I have to leave at two today." I said.

"You can leave when you finish the paperwork I need you to do." He said.

"And you can let me leave at two." I said.

"For what?" He asked.

"I have to go to the doctor. I'm not keeping this baby and raising it as a single mother." I said and he rolled his eyes.

"Good. I won't have to pay for it." He said and I looked away from him and I grabbed the handle of his door.

"I really wish you were a decent person." I said.

"Me too." He said and I walked out. I went into my office and I sat down at my desk. I tried to focus on finishing up some of the work I had left but I couldn't. I just started bawling my eyes out. Everything fell apart so fast. I was pregnant with his baby, had to make the decision by myself basically to get rid of it, and he didn't care at all. Not one bit. After talking about getting married and having kids while he was cheating on me and he didn't care one bit. I fell for his lies and I let him treat me like absolute shit.

* * *

I left at two without saying anything to Jake and I got the procedure done and I went home. I felt sick almost as soon as I got out of the procedure, I threw up so much when I got home, and I was literally bleeding so heavily. It was horrible. I was laying on my couch with a trash can next to me and I just felt disgusted at myself. I couldn't believe that I let him treat me the way he did and that I didn't catch on to him hooking up with Morgan. I couldn't believe I fell for his lies about it, it made me feel even sicker on top of medically being sick.

My phone started ringing and I looked down and saw it was Jake and I cocked an eyebrow before answering it. He was my boss.

"Hello?" I asked.

"I told you to leave when you were done your work." He said.

"And I told you I was leaving." I said.

"Did you do it?" He asked.

"Yes." I said and he was quiet for a little bit.

"Can I stop by?" He asked.

"No." I mumbled.

"Let me stop by. That was partially my fault too." He said.

"Partially? Jake don't talk to me. I don't even want you here-I really don't." I said.

"Blaire you were pregnant with my baby. Just-just let me stop by and see you." He said.

"No because you're going to manipulate me into getting back with you and I don't want to." I said.

"I'm not manipulating you. I'm coming over to just check in. I'm doing it even if you don't want me to. I'm about ten minutes away." He said and I narrowed my eyes.

"I hate you so much." I mumbled and he hung up. I tossed my phone to the side and I felt sick to my stomach. I quickly sat up, and threw up for at least the fifth time. I didn't want him to come, but I knew he was going to no matter what.

When he got to my house, I heard him lock his car in my driveway and he walked in through my front door a little while after holding flowers. It made me want to die.

"Hey." He said and I glared at him as he walked closer to me. I went to sit up and he stopped me by putting his hand on my legs.

"Shh. Hold on. Just relax." He said and he sat down next to me on the couch and I shook my head.

"Don't touch me." I said.

"Blaire, I'm not trying to argue with you or hurt you. I came here to check on you because I know what you left for-I'm sorry." He said.

"You're sorry? I just got my uterus fucked with and our baby inside me was killed and you're sorry?" I asked.

"I know, I fucked up. I'm sorry." He said and a huge cramp shot through my entire torso and I groaned and buried my face into my lap. He put his hand on my back and I couldn't even yell at him to stop. I was in so much pain.

"I'm so sorry." He repeated and he rubbed my back as I was basically crying.

"I'm sorry." He kept repeating and I got sick.

"Jake." I cried.

"Do you want me to bring you to the hospital?" He asked.

"No-I just want this to end." I cried and he went to take his hand away from me and I pulled his arm and pulled myself into him. He held me tightly and I cried into his neck so loudly.

"Why did you do this to me?!" I scream cried loudly and he rubbed my back.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"I wanted a life with you. I wanted a family and to love you but you fucking ruined it Jake and you cheated on me and you hit me last night." I cried and he held my face against his. I hated everything so much. I hated that he treated me that way.

"I mean it with everything in me that I'm sorry." He said and I held him tightly.

"We can't be together and you know we can't." I cried.

"Yes we can. I fucked up and I admit that but I'll figure things out and I'll be better for you. I promise you I'm marrying you." He said as he rubbed my back.

"You cheated on me and hit me. You wanted me to get rid of a baby we made after telling me it wasn't yours. I don't want to marry you anymore. You turned everything against me and you made me make the decision to get rid of it!" I cried and pulled away from him and he nodded.

"I know. I fucked up bad but I promise you I can fix everything and I can tell Morgan that we're done-you can be there. You can trust me that I will never talk to Morgan again. Please just give me one more chance." He said.

"You don't love me if you cheated on me." I said.

"I do love you. I did it to protect us." He said.

"Cheating on me isn't protecting us it's ruining us." I said.

"If I don't satisfy her I promise you she will find every possible way to ruin our lives together." He said.

"So if I told you we could get back right now, you would still satisfy her?" I asked and he ran his fingers through his hair and nodded slowly.

"Yeah. I wouldn't do it because I have feelings for her. I just genuinely would do it to keep her mouth shut. She knows things that can't get out." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"You're the most selfish person I have ever met." I said and he nodded.

"It's to protect you-"

"You're hurting me. There's a big difference. Get out."