Chapter 63

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Brad and jake's sister were there for me more than my own family. Brad would come over while on duty and half the time wouldn't even say anything. He'd just sit with me and watch TV or we'd go on our phones together. It felt good having him with me. Being jakes best friend, he knew how Jake was and he would tell me hilarious stories about him when they were younger. It made me sad, and miss him even more-but it took my mind off the sadness at the same time and made me happy.

"When we were younger, we'd drink and hide it from his parents. We'd invite our friends over his house and have a party in his room. They wouldn't be able to hear it from across the entire house and they never really checked on him being a teenager and everything-we were all fucked up and Jake ended up walking out of his room, and walking to the other side of the house to lay in his parents bed. He threw up everywhere as soon as he laid down and they automatically knew he was drunk-they completely busted us but they loved me as another son so they let me stay the night and everyone else stumbled home. A lot of people got in trouble that night and it was honestly terrifying but the funniest thing that had ever happened to us. We laughed about it all the time." He said and I chuckled.

"He was such a partier." I said.

"In high school he was-in college he wasn't at all. He really did focus on school and was in an honors program and everything. He started doing drugs the last year though because of Morgan and he graduated and fell apart during law school. He was smart still and passed and did good-but he was getting fucked up every night and was completely being manipulated by her. It was shitty-but then they broke up and he hired her to work for him and they were on and off-they were just complicated and shitty." He said.

"And then I came along and made his life semi-better." I said and he nodded.

"Yeah you definitely changed him in a good way. It was honestly insane." He said.

"He seemed to use drugs more while I was with him though." I said.

"No-he just got more open to you about it." He said and I nodded slowly.

"I guess so." I said.

"Did he ever make you do it with him?" He asked hesitantly and I looked over at him and shook my head.

"No-I chose to do it and he got mad at me-there we're times that he put it up to my nose randomly to have sex while being high-but I had the choice to say no. I just always did it whenever I was asked or when I wanted to-the night I got arrested was so stupid. That was just me being a dumbass. After what happened though I refuse to even think about doing it. It disgusts me." I said and he nodded slowly.

"I hope that you don't think I was giving it to him because I was supporting him doing it-I was giving it to him because I genuinely felt bad for not. He stopped getting it for a while and was literally going crazy and staying up for days at a time. It was around the time he hired you at work-I had to get it for him because I didn't want him doing anything stupid even though what he was doing was already." He said.

"I didn't think that. I knew why you were giving it to him-I'm more mad about his brother. I never liked his brother and never trusted him." I said.

"His brother is a douche bag. He tried killing Jake when he was younger. I don't know why he trusted him with that to begin with." He said and I rested my head on his shoulder. I was tired of sitting next to him and not touching him at all. He was like my best friend, and I didn't have Hailey anymore.

"I lost two of the most important people in my life within a year." I said and he wrapped his arm around me.

"I got you." He said and I wrapped my arms around him and adjusted so my head was on his chest.

"You're like my best friend." I said and he smiled down at me.

"I'm glad I can be sweetheart." He said and I kissed his cheek. I was so so so thankful for him. He genuinely did care about me. He looked down at me after I kissed his cheek and he smiled weakly. He cupped my cheek and tilted my chin up and he locked his lips to mine. I didn't hesitate to kiss him back either. I didn't know why, I guess it was a stereotypical thing for someone who lost their everything. The best friend usually is always there to help them out and then one thing leads to another and they get together. If I died and Jake and Hailey were still alive, they would have probably ended up together too.

Brad and I weren't together, but that night he took my mind off everything and we ended up in the guest bed with our bodies intertwined for hours. I needed it, and as guilty as I felt-I knew Jake wouldn't want me to be the way I was. He wouldn't have wanted me to sit in the house and think about him constantly. He'd want me to move on and be positive. I was scared I was doing something wrong, but I kept telling myself that I deserved to be happy and couldn't keep blaming myself.

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